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A history of incredibly ignorant and stupid statements.

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Sebastian flyte
403897.  Mon Sep 08, 2008 5:38 am Reply with quote

Fat Cat wrote:
How about the classic:

Can't sing, can't act, can dance a little? (referring to Fred Astaire)


:) Ah yes. :)

 
The Phantarch
406291.  Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:17 am Reply with quote

The worst stupid statements I've heard are all ones parents tell their kids.

"You'll have someone's eye out with that." (Almost invariably referring to an object only a few inches long)

"If you play with your belly button, your bum will unscrew." (WHAT!?)

"You should eat your crusts, they'll make your hair go curly." (I didn't, it did)

 
Bondee
406407.  Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:11 am Reply with quote

"Don't pick your nose, your head'll cave in."

There's a thread of "lies parents tell their kids" somewhere.

 
mikeyfone
406451.  Fri Sep 12, 2008 1:12 pm Reply with quote

'Pick your nose and your eyes will fall out!'

The old favourite 'if the wind changes, your face will stay like that forever.' Even as a six year old I questioned the feasibility of that statement, which was followed by...

'Don't answer back!' If I didn't answer, I was being ignorant.

'Eat that, it'll put hairs on your chest.' Subsequently, not being a 1970s trabadour, I found I don't really want hairs on my damn chest. Now I want them removed.

 
jakamneziak
406496.  Fri Sep 12, 2008 3:22 pm Reply with quote

why remove your chest hairs? Ive got a bearskin rug and im proud of it!

Stupid quotes can be found by a lot of people. I renember at the age of 2 and a half being told "A swan can break your arm." Sod telling me what a swan was, i found a box of matches and though "how the fuck can that break my arm?"

Whats the difference between madonna and a rottweiller? lipstick (cannot renember who quoted it but i got in a book of put-downs i picked up for m a charity shop in nottingham for 50p - funniest book ive got!)

 
The Phantarch
406571.  Fri Sep 12, 2008 6:52 pm Reply with quote

I've not seen this one put down so here we go:

"Every republican knows the importance of bondage between a mother and her child." George.W. Bush

"Education, education, education." Tony Blair (instead of three words, he should have been focusing on three letters: N-H-S)

"The lady is not for the turning." Margaret Thatcher. ("The lady is not for the burning." Was the original quotation cited in a book in which this was said about someone who'd been accused of being a witch. I can't remember the title but after that sppech, Maggie left us in no doubt).

Yes I am not a fan of even slightly right-of-centre parties.

 
suze
406580.  Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:05 pm Reply with quote

The Phantarch wrote:
"Every republican knows the importance of bondage between a mother and her child." George.W. Bush


I've seen that one attributed to GWB and also to the one and only J Danforth Quayle. Is it therefore likely to be one of those urban myth quotes that nobody actually said?

 
96aelw
406587.  Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:09 pm Reply with quote

The Phantarch wrote:
"The lady is not for the turning." Margaret Thatcher. ("The lady is not for the burning." Was the original quotation cited in a book in which this was said about someone who'd been accused of being a witch. I can't remember the title


The title was, in fact, the line in question; "The lady's not for burning" is a play by Christopher Fry.

 
The Phantarch
406594.  Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:12 pm Reply with quote

96aelw wrote:
The Phantarch wrote:
"The lady is not for the turning." Margaret Thatcher. ("The lady is not for the burning." Was the original quotation cited in a book in which this was said about someone who'd been accused of being a witch. I can't remember the title


The title was, in fact, the line in question; "The lady's not for burning" is a play by Christopher Fry.


Thank you.

 
jakamneziak
406650.  Sat Sep 13, 2008 4:25 am Reply with quote

anothe rignorant but hghly amusing quote come sform the late great John Catlin.

"Don quayle is all 3. Stupid, full of shit and fucking nuts." "Does he have to fuck that wife of his? goddam i wouldn't fuck her with a stolen dick!"

Style might not be his strong point but he sure knew how to convey a point or two.

 
Sailor Charon
417794.  Sun Oct 05, 2008 5:48 am Reply with quote

hashmcgandy wrote:
With apologies to our American cousins, the modern day Master of 'incredibly ignorant and stupid statements' has to be George W. Bush. Here is a small selection:

“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.”

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."

“Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?"

and the classic:

"They misunderestimated me."


I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue had a round of complete George W Bush quotes, and I recognise the first one from that...
I don't remember what the other ones from that round were though... :(

 
Curious Danny
417957.  Sun Oct 05, 2008 11:27 am Reply with quote

Sailor Charon wrote:
hashmcgandy wrote:


“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.”





That is not really a stupid statement as man and fish have a terrible relationship. We pollute the ocean, treating it as the ultimate toilet and rubbish dump. We also rely on it as a larder, so we hoover up millions of fish yearly.

I say that is a turbulent relationship - at least if you're a cod.

 
jakamneziak
417966.  Sun Oct 05, 2008 12:45 pm Reply with quote

or a swordfish in my view.mmmmmmmmmmmm..............swordfish!

 
Sadurian Mike
417981.  Sun Oct 05, 2008 1:24 pm Reply with quote

mikeyfone wrote:
'Even if a submarine should work by a miracle, it will never be used. No country in the world would ever use such a vicious and petty form of warfare.' Admiral William Henderson, RN 1914.

A mistake in retrospect but also in contemporary terms.

The first British operational submarine, the imaginatively titled "Submarine No.1", was launched in 1902.


They were of US "Holland Class" design, and improved models were designed, built, and successfully used in manoeuvers pre-WWI. Although not really called into action in the North Sea during WWI, they helped with the blockade of the German Fleet (which spent most of the war in port to avoid conflict with the Royal Navy), and also had some spectacular successes in the Baltic and Dardanelles campaign (Gallipoli and all that).

EDIT: Missed a fairly important geographical area out of my statement.


Last edited by Sadurian Mike on Mon Oct 06, 2008 9:08 am; edited 1 time in total

 
Sadurian Mike
417982.  Sun Oct 05, 2008 1:26 pm Reply with quote

Curious Danny wrote:
I say that is a turbulent relationship - at least if you're a cod.

Well they do move in mysterious ways.

 

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