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Famous Last Words

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199203.  Fri Aug 10, 2007 2:18 pm Reply with quote

Being fat would most likely have been a sign of wealth and good diet in the middle ages when the practice of using surnames became popular in Europe.

Today of course, being fat is usually seen as a sign of poverty and poor diet.

199206.  Fri Aug 10, 2007 2:32 pm Reply with quote

To be precise Oscar Wilde's last words were:
Either that wallpaper goes or I do.

Obviously the wallpaper stayed.
But I've found in another book that his last words may have been:
I am dying, as I have lived, beyond my means.

In response to the post above about last words uttered by criminals, I offer you the last words of James W. Rodgers, a Utah murderer, who when asked if he had any last requests before facing the firing squad in 1960, said "Yes-a bullet-proof vest".
In a similiar vein, the murderer Neville Heath who for his last request asked for a glass of whisky before he was hanged in 1946 said " You might make that a double".
Some of my other favourite last words (if that's acceptable) are W.C Fields who had been flicking through a Bible on his deathbed said "I'm looking for a loop-hole". Henrik Ibsen, who when his wife said that he was looking slightly better he said "On the contrary".
Finally there are the last words of former Viscount Palmerston, former prime minister (well actually not proper prime minister, not until Henry Campbell Bannerman, if I can remember the book of GI correctly) who said in 1865 "Die my dear doctor? That's the last thing I shall do"

199211.  Fri Aug 10, 2007 2:46 pm Reply with quote

Captain Lawrence Oates. "I am just going outside and I may be some time"

199301.  Sat Aug 11, 2007 8:54 am Reply with quote

Christine Chubbuck- WXLT-TV Anchorwoman-July 15th 1974-

In keeping with Channel 40's policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts and in living color, you are going to see another first -- attempted suicide.

199304.  Sat Aug 11, 2007 9:07 am Reply with quote

Today of course, being fat is usually seen as a sign of poverty and poor diet.

Are you talking about the tropical disease beri-beri which swells up the stomach?

199305.  Sat Aug 11, 2007 9:10 am Reply with quote

Hurrah Boys! Let's get these last few reds then head on back to camp. Hurrah!

199311.  Sat Aug 11, 2007 9:20 am Reply with quote

James French, a convicted murderer in the electric chair:
Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? 'French Fries'!

199600.  Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:10 am Reply with quote

austinallegro wrote:
Today of course, being fat is usually seen as a sign of poverty and poor diet.

Are you talking about the tropical disease beri-beri which swells up the stomach?

No, I imagine he's talking about turkey twizzlers.

199680.  Mon Aug 13, 2007 6:38 am Reply with quote

djgordy wrote:

The all time best ever last words must be those reportedly uttered by Adam Faith. "Channel 5 is all shit, isn't it? Christ, the crap they put on there. It's a waste of space""

I think Linda Smith's 'Davina? It's shite' might be a rival there.

Curious Danny
199807.  Mon Aug 13, 2007 11:08 am Reply with quote

Courtesy of Horrible Histories series - "Mad Miscellany" by Terry Deary (Available at all good bookshops):

HG Wells:
Go away. I'm all right. (wrong!)

President Charles De Gaulle:
It hurts!

Saint Lawrence:
Turn me, I am roasted on one side.

Tommorrow I shall no longer be here (a very accurate prediction!)

Heinriech Heine:
God will forgive me. It's his job.

William Palmer:
Are you sure it's safe? (as he stood on the trap door of the gallows just before he was hung)

Curious Danny
199911.  Tue Aug 14, 2007 2:59 am Reply with quote

The Count of Rochefoucaulde died a very strange death in 1571. He woke up and found a gang of masked men at the bottom of his bed. He was sure his friends were playing a joke on him so his last words were:
"No! Please don't tickle me, you know I hate being tickled!"
A few moments later he was hacked to death.

199919.  Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:24 am Reply with quote

austinallegro wrote:
James French, a convicted murderer in the electric chair:
Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? 'French Fries'!

"Frying tonight!". Dr. Orlando Watt (Kenneth Williams) Carry on Screaming.

(There were only two good lines in the whole of the Carry On series and they were both famous last words by Kenneth Williams' characters! The other one is , of course, "infamy, infamy. they've all got it in for me".)

199946.  Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:19 am Reply with quote


There is the particularly fine dinner party sequence in Carry On Up The Khyber, too. Joan Sims' line "Oh, I'm a little plastered!" is not too bad a line, with pretty good timing. But the whole sequence makes me chuckle.



200142.  Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:48 am Reply with quote

Some famous last words of fictional characters (the last words spoken by that character, not necessarily their dying words):

"Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! and since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!" (Captain Ahab)

"Take thou Excalibur, my good sword, and go with it to yonder water side, and when thou comest there I charge thee throw my sword in that water. . . . Alas, help me hence, for I dread me I have tarried over long. . . . Comfort thyself and do as well as thou mayst, for in me is no trust for to trust in; for I will into the vale of Avilion to heal me of my grievous wound: and if thou hear never more of me, pray for my soul." (King Arthur - Mallory's "Morte d'Arthur)

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate. All of those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die." (Roy Batty - Blade Runner)

"God bless Captain Vere!" (Billy Budd)

"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done: it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known." (Sidney Carton)

"What, what was that you were saying about me? . . . I thought I heard you say it was a pity. . . . A pity I never had children? But you're wrong. . . . I have thousands of them . . . thousands of them . . . and all boys!" (Mr. Chips)

"You must not go! You shall not, I tell you. . . . Not for one minute. . . . No! Oh, don't, don't go! It is the last time! Edgar will not hurt us. Heathcliffe, I shall die! I shall die!" (Catherine Earnshaw)

"Precious, precious, precious! My Precious! O my Precious!" (Gollum)

"Dai-sy, Dai-sy, give me your answer true. I'm half cra-zy o-ver the love of you. It won't be a sty-lish mar-riage. I can't afford a car-riage---" (HAL (000)

"The rest is silence." (Hamlet)

"The horror! The horror!" (Mr. Kurtz/Col. Kurtz)

"Here's to my love! O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die." Romeo

"Yea noise? then I'll be brief. O happy dagger! This is thy sheath; there rust, and let me die." (Juliet)

"Lookout--here I go!" (The Wicked Witch of the West) (I might have this as my epitaph!)

"Good luck, everyone." Capt Edmund Blackadder

Last edited by djgordy on Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:57 am; edited 1 time in total

200145.  Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:54 am Reply with quote

My favourite last words are those of Captain Oates but they've already been said.

He was severly frostbitten and slowing the progress of the rest of the men from their way back from the south pole. he knew the rest wouldn't leave him behind and so he had to sacrafice himself by walking out into a blizzard. However they all ended up dying a few days later in another blizzard.

Anyway..... Alexander the great: "there are no more other worlds to conquer"

Roman emperor Augustus: "Did I play my role well? If so, then applause, because the comedy is finished!"

Ludwig van Beethoven: "Pity, pity - too late" (after being told of a gift of 12 bottles of wine)
BUT some list it as "Applaud, my friends, the comedy is over" which seems remarkably similar to Augustus


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