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E Series Warm Up Questions

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eggshaped
173216.  Thu May 10, 2007 3:26 am Reply with quote

I'm going to post this years warm up questions here, for posterity, and for ease of transfer to SQUIRE.

If anyone else wants to post any here, then feel free. For the non-studio elves, the warm up is just 5 quick questions which Stephen asks the guests to get their creative juices flowing as well as checking mic levels etc.

 
eggshaped
173217.  Thu May 10, 2007 3:27 am Reply with quote

Question: Koko the gorilla has been taught over 1000 words of sign language by scientists at Stanford University. What is her word for “human”, and why has it got her in touble?

Answer: The word is nipple.

Koko was brought up in captivity, and from the age of one has been taught sign language by Dr. Francine Patterson and other researchers at Stanford University. She is famous for her love of kittens, her art and an online chat she held in 2003; the name Koko comes from the Japanese for “firework child” in reference to her birthday – 4th July.

According to Dr Patterson her word for human is “nipple” and at least three former keepers have claimed that they were pressured into showing their breasts at the gorilla’s request. Koko is supposed to have a nipple fetish and has been known to grab both male and female nipples in a playful manner. It was alleged that Dr Patterson encouraged Koko’s behaviour.

Meanwhile in Europe, Lawyers in Austria are attempting to legally declare Haisl the Chimpanzee "a person" in order that he will be able to own property and receive donations. Spain's government is also considering a bill that would extend "fundamental moral and legal protections'' to apes.

 
eggshaped
173218.  Thu May 10, 2007 3:28 am Reply with quote

Question: What refreshments can you expect at a conservative party rally?

Answer: No more than tea and biscuits, otherwise they’d be breaking the law.

Election candidates are not allowed to lay on meals for the public due to a law called “treating” which is aimed at stopping voter bribery. The law was brought in during the 19th Century when people would be plied with food and drink to gain their support.

A lib dem peer, Lord Greaves, has recently claimed that all major parties are flouting this law. He claims that it is especially prevalent in areas with a large Asian population where it is considered "impolite" not to provide food for supporters.

There have been only seven allegations of "treating" in the past five years, none of which had resulted in a prosecution. The offence is punishable by up to one year in prison, an unlimited fine, or both,".

link

 
eggshaped
173219.  Thu May 10, 2007 3:29 am Reply with quote

Question: What’s quite interesting about Saudi beauty contests?

Answer: The participants are camels

Of course human female beauty contests are forbidden due to Islamic laws and tribal customs, but the people of Saudi Arabia still have beauty contests – for camels.

More than 250 owners take part, showing off more than 1500 camels who are judged while their drivers sing songs of praise which they hope will keep the animals calm. Particularly beautiful traits are long droopy noses, long necks and ears which stand back; the hump should be high and slightly to the back.

Sports utility vehicles are given to the owners of the winners, while the winning animals can look forward to being sold for over 10 million riyals (over £1.3 million).

link

 
eggshaped
173220.  Thu May 10, 2007 3:30 am Reply with quote

Question: Tell me about South Korea’s “Drinking Culture Prize”

The Goesan county local government has recently had to pull out of a venture called the “drinking culture prize” which was supposed to thank local people for boosting the local economy.

The lucky recipients were given a plaque and a holiday to the popular tourist island of Jeju in recognition of their efforts in spending the most money in local bars. The award has been suspended after criticism; one of the winners lost his licence after being caught drink-driving.

link

 
eggshaped
173223.  Thu May 10, 2007 3:32 am Reply with quote

Question: Female Bedbugs do not have a reproductive tract, so how do they have sex?

Answer: By Traumatic Insemination

Instead of inserting their genitalia into a female's reproductive tract, male bedbugs pierce the body of the female with their hypodermic penises and ejaculate into the body cavity. It is thought that this technique of mating has evolved to overcome female mating resistance.

Bedbugs can go for a whole year without eating. They stay in bed all day and go out at night. The ancient greeks named coriander after the greek for "bed-bug" because the smell of the leaves is said to resemble that of bug-infested bed linens. The Greek word for bed-bug is 'koris'.

The most common predator of the bedbug is the brilliantly named “masked hunter” – it gets its name by the fact that it camouflages itself in dust before attacking bedbugs.

link

 
eggshaped
173315.  Thu May 10, 2007 9:55 am Reply with quote

Question: Russia has an annual sex-doll rafting race, how did Igor Osipov get disqualified in last year’s event?

Answer: He sexually abused his raft.

The Bubble Baba Challenge, sponsored by local sex shops, is a race over 1200 meters in the not-so-warm waters of the Vuoksa river near St. Petersburg. Participants have to swim the course while keeping hold of their inflatable doll.

In 2006, as all the racers jumped into the water, a strong wind meant most lost grasp of their dolls and with the finish line in sight Osipov looked like the only winner. However the jury had noticed that he was in a strange position and asked him to moor, where “signs of recent sexual activity” were found on the doll.

link to follow

 
eggshaped
173316.  Thu May 10, 2007 9:55 am Reply with quote

Question: What Olympic sport would be useful for astronauts to practice?

Answer: Cross country skiing.

Harrison Schmitt, part of the 1972 Apollo 17 crew who were the last to walk on the moon has claimed that people heading to the moon should learn cross-country skiing. He says that his knowledge of Nordic skiing had allowed him to glide effortlessly across the dusty lunar surface.

Apparently when you’re on the moon, you glide rhythmically, a technique similar to the sliding toe-pushes used in skiing. He also believes that carrying poles would be useful for stability and stopping in low gravity.

Schmitt modestly claims to be the fastest man ever on the moon, he estimates his gliding technique helped him travel at about 7 mph. He also told the American Association for the Advancement of Science that the mountainous rim of the Sea of Serenity would make an ideal alpine skiing spot.

link to follow

 
eggshaped
173317.  Thu May 10, 2007 9:56 am Reply with quote

Question: How can you increase the health benefit of fresh fruit drinks?

Answer: By adding alcohol

Researchers in the US and Thailand have shown that by adding ethanol (the type of alcohol found in rum, vodka and tequila) the antioxidant nutrients in strawberries and blackberries are boosted. Making fruity cocktails the perfect(ish) health food.

People who eat more foods with antioxidants such as polyphenols and anthocyanins have already been shown to have a lower risk of cancer, heart disease and some neurological diseases.

link to follow

 
eggshaped
173318.  Thu May 10, 2007 9:56 am Reply with quote

Question: Why did the Nazis look after their rabbits so well?

Answer: To de-motivate their prisoners

The Nazis kept angora rabbits in a program which provided warm fur to line the jackets of Luftwaffe pilots.

The rabbits lived a life of luxury in the same complexes as concentration camps such as Auschwitz and Dachau both as a showpiece to visiting dignitaries and as a constant reminder to prisoners of how little their lives were valued. In Buchenwald, where tens of thousands of human beings were starved to death while living in terrible cramped conditions, rabbits enjoyed scientifically prepared meals and lived in their own luxurious hutches.

link to follow

 
eggshaped
173319.  Thu May 10, 2007 9:57 am Reply with quote

Question: Why was Berlioz once found in the Mediterranean wearing a dress?

Answer:

While studying in Rome, Berlioz heard that his girlfriend Camille was seeing another man. In his rage he decided to travel back to Paris and murder his love rival, but realised that he needed a disguise, so he bought a gun, put on a dress and boarded a train.
Before long he chickened out and threw himself into the Mediterranean; luckily he was fished out in his dress, but minus his gun.

Berlioz was originally a student of medicine, but took up music after being disgusted by a visit to a dissecting room as part of his anatomy training. According to his memoirs he leapt out of the window of the room and never went back to medicine.

link to follow

 
eggshaped
174215.  Mon May 14, 2007 10:14 am Reply with quote

Question: What’s the best thing to wear on your head if you’re cycling and wish to avoid accidents?

Answer: A long wig.

Ian Walker, a psychologist at the University of Bath cycled around his home town last year both with a helmet and without to see how it affected the amount of space afforded to him by motorists. The sensors attached to his bike showed that when he wore a helmet, motorists drove an average of 3.35 inches closer to his bike than when his head wasn't covered. If he wore a long dark curly wig to make him look like a woman, he was given an extra 2.2 inches.

The research about the effectiveness of bicycle helmets is contradictory. Dorothy Robinson, a patron of the Bicycle Helmet Research Foundation and a senior statistician at the University of New England in Armidale, Australia published a 2006 review which claimed that "helmets are not designed for forces often encountered in collisions with motor vehicles", while a study in New York City showed that of the 225 deaths from cycling in the area between 1996 and 2005, 97% were not wearing helmets.

link

 
eggshaped
174236.  Mon May 14, 2007 10:52 am Reply with quote

Question: What’s the best possible result from being bitten by a spider?

Answer: It could improve your sex life.

Men bitten by the Phoneutria nigriventer experienced priapism - long and painful erections. However after this, most men who have been bitten report a great improvement in their sex lives.

Scientists are therefore looking at the venom as a possible cure for male impotance, it is thought that mixing drugs such as Viagra with the isolated compound might make for more effective treatments.

 
eggshaped
174416.  Tue May 15, 2007 4:04 am Reply with quote

Question: Why should we make tonight’s audience bite pencils while they’re watching the show?

Answer:
According to a study at the University of Wurzburg in 1988, people enjoy comedy more when they are holding a pencil (sideways) between their teeth. This position forces a smile. Another group, who held the pencil between their lips, forcing a frown, did not find things nearly as funny. The implication is that as well as happiness resulting in smiling, smiling can cause happiness.

It is often also said that the letter “k” is the funniest in the English language, words containing this letter force a smile during pronunciation.

 
eggshaped
174535.  Tue May 15, 2007 9:18 am Reply with quote

Question: Going by percentage of matches won, whose supporters can claim the best FA Cup team?

Answer:

Kings Lynn

If we exclude teams who have only played a small number of matches, Kings Lynn FC have won the highest number of FA Cup matches in relation to the number played. The reason they can beat teams like Arsenal and Man Utd is that they play plenty of games before the 3rd round, when the big boys come into the competition.

Before this season, the Linnets’ had won 185 of their 315 matches, going back to their first appearance in the competition in 1900, giving them a success rate of 58.73%. Arsenal had won 54.04% of matches, Manchester United 54.43% and Liverpool 53.69%. If we include every single team, the best FA Cup record belongs to Blackburn Olympic who only took part twice, winning in 1882 and reaching the semis in 1883.

Arsenal hold one record, the longest unbeaten run; 18 matches between the 2001 final and the 2004 semi-final.

link


Last edited by eggshaped on Wed May 16, 2007 11:54 am; edited 1 time in total

 

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