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Excuses

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eggshaped
154553.  Wed Mar 07, 2007 8:55 am Reply with quote

Cheating on your missus? Why expend precious adultery time on covering your tracks when you can hire the alibi-network.

Quote:
We provide alibis and excuses for our clients. Whether it is spending a night out with a special friend, taking a day off from work, sending a discreet gift, avoiding your neighbor's birthday party or planning a surprise for the loved ones.

Now it is all possible... And it is all discreet. We put you in control and let you choose between local and out of town alibis with the option to have alibis validated by live operators.

 
Frederick The Monk
154579.  Wed Mar 07, 2007 10:50 am Reply with quote

Do they do bank jobs?

 
eggshaped
154580.  Wed Mar 07, 2007 10:50 am Reply with quote

Is that a euphemism?

 
Frederick The Monk
154586.  Wed Mar 07, 2007 11:05 am Reply with quote

It could be - depends on the price.

 
Flash
154612.  Wed Mar 07, 2007 1:06 pm Reply with quote

Belongs in the Euphemisms thread, then.

 
dr.bob
154815.  Thu Mar 08, 2007 5:03 am Reply with quote

eggshaped wrote:
Cheating on your missus? Why expend precious adultery time on covering your tracks when you can hire the alibi-network.


And you found this site because.......?

 
eggshaped
154817.  Thu Mar 08, 2007 5:06 am Reply with quote

[quick e-mail to alibi-network]

...I was researching for a popular BBC2 panel show.

Pah. That's the worst excuse I ever heard.

 
Vitali
155285.  Fri Mar 09, 2007 8:17 am Reply with quote

Some pub names in Finland: "At My In-Laws", "At My Brother's" - were designed to provide natural excuses for husbands to pacify angry wives, eg: "Where have you been all evening?!" - "At my Brother's". They do it in the Czech Republic, too. One of Prague's pub is called "At a Local Bookshop"! - the best excuse ever...

 
Vitali
155591.  Sun Mar 11, 2007 7:10 am Reply with quote

Another good pub name spotted in Ireland: "The Why Not?"

 
dr.bob
157531.  Mon Mar 19, 2007 6:12 am Reply with quote

There's an excellent gelateria in Florence called "Perche no?" which translates as "Why not?"

 
ryewacket
158002.  Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:13 pm Reply with quote

There was (1990s) an inexplicably popular pub in Luton's business district called "The Office".

 
ryewacket
158003.  Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:16 pm Reply with quote

Q: How did an unknown number of frogs defeat 22 Ukranians?

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/worldcup06/2006/06/16/is_this_the_worst_excuse_ever_1.html

 
MatC
169569.  Wed Apr 25, 2007 6:40 am Reply with quote

According to HM Customs & Revenue in 2006, these are the top ten reasons (in reverse order) employers give for breaking the law by paying their workers less than the National Minimum Wage:

10. I only took him on as a favour
9. The workers can't speak English
8. He's over 65, so the national minimum wage doesn't apply
7. She's on benefits - if you add those to her pay, it totals the NMW
6. They can't cope on their own and it's more than they would get in their own country
5. He's disabled
4. I didn't think it applied to small employers
3. I didn't think the workers were worth NMW
2. But she only wanted £3 an hour
1. He doesn't deserve it - he's a total waste of space

I like number two best - the idea that the boss is merely following the employee’s personal preferences!

S: http://www.gnn.gov.uk/Content/Detail.asp?ReleaseID=222124&NewsAreaID=2

 
MatC
169598.  Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:43 am Reply with quote

Quote:
The most common reaction from men confronted by TV Licensing Enforcement Officers is: "Oh, I thought my wife was dealing with it."


S: http://www.tvlicensing.co.uk/information/excuses.jsp

 
MatC
169611.  Wed Apr 25, 2007 7:50 am Reply with quote

There is an attempt at http://research.haifa.ac.il/~benzeev/excuses.htm by Shlomo Hareli (Department of Psychology, University of Haifa) to define excuses; this is a paper presented to the International Society for Research on Emotions, Toronto, 1996.

 

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