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94656.  Wed Sep 20, 2006 5:57 am Reply with quote

Q: What are the main characteristics of an old Etonian?

F: Any mention of stiff upper lips, stately homes, David Cameron, Boris Johnson, buggery, or fags

A: The average old Etonian lives in small roadside village. His house is made of dried-mud bricks, and he eats monkeys, porcupines and insects. He worships Christianity publically, but goes in for a bit of devil worship in secrecy.

Old Etonians are veteran members of Cameroon's "Eton" tribes. 52,000 people are said to have spoken the Eton language in 1982.

There are three 'sub' Eton tribes, the Eton-Beti, Eton-Beloua, and Beloua-Eton. Most of them live in the Lekie division of Cameroon's Centre Province.

The Eton language is, quite interestingly, never written.

It throws up a few choice phrases:

Eton for "thank you" is: Abumgang.

A "beautiful woman" is a "Mme Minga".

When an Etonian say they "don't feel well", they don't refer to their physical state, but their moral state.

The phrase for "yesterday" - "ANG-GORÉ" - translates as 'that what happened before the night".

A "spoon" is a "tock".

The word for "rooster" (NJOM-KOU) translates literally as "the cock of the village"...and is used as currency.

To beat somebody is to "bob" them, whereas the sky is the "dob".

As well as the Eton tribe, other ethnic groups in Cameroon include the Bum, Bang and Banana tribes; the Mang, the Fang and Tang; the Wum, the Wam and the War; and of course the Pongo...

John Lloyd, QI Database

94691.  Wed Sep 20, 2006 6:50 am Reply with quote

From SQUIRE comes this fitting fact:

The famous public school at Eton was founded in 1440 by Henry VI. The original name was ""The King’s College of Our Lady of Eton beside Windsor"", and it was meant to be a charity school to provide free education to seventy poor students.

The school was also supplied with scholars from the town; Henry VI lavished it with a substantial income from land, and a huge collection of holy relics - including fragments of what were supposed to be the True Cross and the Crown of Thorns.

96351.  Mon Sep 25, 2006 9:33 am Reply with quote

When Eton decided that they wanted to build a new olympic sized rowing pool on an old disused part of the Thames, it opened up a fascinating archaological site.

One of the most fascinating aspects of the project was the light it threw on the ritual use of the Thames... five human leg bones with smaashed ends, cut marks and signs of gnawing may indecate ritual cannibalism. Did Old Etonians eat their relatives? As I write, the jury is still out.

The Tribes of Britain - David Miles

97111.  Wed Sep 27, 2006 9:51 am Reply with quote

Very good indeed.

159107.  Fri Mar 23, 2007 5:32 am Reply with quote

Flash, I remember you wanted more on Eton.

Was there anything particular you were interested in?

The things I mentioned were two time related pieces of info:

If a boy is late to class, they were put into TARDY BOOK. This meant they had to get up 15 minutes before everyone else and run to the SCHOOL OFFICE to sign the book. If they were late for this, they'd then get another day's tardy book and so on.

If a master (known as A BEAK) is more than 15 minutes late to a class, the boys could take A RUN. They boys ran to SCHOOL OFFICE (see above) to report their BEAK'S TARDY. This sometimes resulted in the hilarious sight of 15 boys running like lunatics being followed by a BEAK on a bicycle, all competing to get to SCHOOL OFFICE first.

159144.  Fri Mar 23, 2007 6:36 am Reply with quote


159145.  Fri Mar 23, 2007 6:37 am Reply with quote


159183.  Fri Mar 23, 2007 7:17 am Reply with quote

That is priceless.

Could you make it up? I don't think you could.

Glorious. And it links to the Ainus at post 155289

159189.  Fri Mar 23, 2007 7:20 am Reply with quote

Cameroon / Cameron looks like a stroke of good fortune as well.

Bunter, in reply to your question, I think what you've put is fine. Maybe we'll run the Cameroon Etonians as the question, and you can give Stephen a few notes on tardy books and the like so that he has them up his sleeve when the inevitable digression occurs.

159203.  Fri Mar 23, 2007 7:29 am Reply with quote

A "beautiful woman" is a "Mme Minga".

I think this is equally droll.

One of my little brothers let me know the other day that Etonians refer to Eton's favourite girl's school St Mary's Calne as the "Virgin Megastore".

Kids these days...

159320.  Fri Mar 23, 2007 10:11 am Reply with quote

MatC wrote:
Glorious. And it links to the Ainus at post 155289

Surely you weren't suggesting that "your Ainus" sounds a bit like "Uranus" ...

Sadly for the gag, it's more like "Eye-noo" (IPA: [ai̯nu]).

159321.  Fri Mar 23, 2007 10:13 am Reply with quote

Suze! Would I?

159323.  Fri Mar 23, 2007 10:17 am Reply with quote

it's more like "Eye-noo" (IPA: [ai̯nu])

Not if I have anything to do with it, it isn't.

159336.  Fri Mar 23, 2007 10:29 am Reply with quote

Question: What would you say if an Etonian said "abumgang" to you?

Answer: Your welcome.

159345.  Fri Mar 23, 2007 10:46 am Reply with quote

Or: "Why do Etonians think women are mingers?"


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