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Euphemisms

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DELETED
158712.  Thu Mar 22, 2007 8:31 am Reply with quote

DELETED

 
MatC
158715.  Thu Mar 22, 2007 8:34 am Reply with quote

So you're a fiver up on the deal, then? Nice work, punter!

 
DELETED
158726.  Thu Mar 22, 2007 8:49 am Reply with quote

DELETED

 
Flash
158735.  Thu Mar 22, 2007 9:03 am Reply with quote

You still have to pay the tax, though. Unless you paid the tax up front, in which case you have to pay it.

 
DELETED
158738.  Thu Mar 22, 2007 9:08 am Reply with quote

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eggshaped
158748.  Thu Mar 22, 2007 9:15 am Reply with quote

Gambling is tax-free now Flashey, unless you're a bookie that is, in which case you pay it on your profits.

Of course Garrick probably made up for that loss by tweaking the odds in his favour.

 
Bunter
158751.  Thu Mar 22, 2007 9:16 am Reply with quote

Apropos names for lavatories, at my prep school we were told to call them 'the vins'.

I guess they thought we'd all turn into aliens if we uttered the word 'toilet'.

 
MatC
158780.  Thu Mar 22, 2007 10:17 am Reply with quote

Where does "the vins" come from, Bunter? Is it Latin or something? I've never heard it before.

 
eggshaped
167145.  Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:48 am Reply with quote

Question: How much does a vision clearance engineer charge these days?

Answer: 4 quid round my way

A “vision clearance engineer” has been voted the most stupid job title, the euphemism for window cleaner won 28 per cent of the votes in a nationwide survey.

Other descriptions were

Education Centre Nourishment Production Assistant (dinner lady)
Waste Removal Engineer (binman)
Domestic Engineer (housewife)
Knowledge Navigator (teacher)
Stock Replenishment Advisor (shelf stacker)
Dispatch Services Facilitator (postman)
Leisure Services Administrator (masseuse)
Flueologist (chimney sweep)
Head of Verbal Communications (receptionist/secretary)
Environment Improvement Technician (cleaner)

More worryingly, 2 per cent had applied for a job only to find it completely different to what they imagined.

survey
link
link2

 
MatC
167155.  Wed Apr 18, 2007 4:34 am Reply with quote

But do you think any of these are really real? Back in the 70s, comedians used to joke about Refuse Disposal Operatives, but has anyone ever actually met a Vision Clearance Engineer?

 
eggshaped
167159.  Wed Apr 18, 2007 4:36 am Reply with quote

Yeeeeeaaah, this problem was brought up in the meeting. The survey claims that they are real, but if we're going to use it then more work is needed. As it is, it does smell a bit of lazy journalism.

 
MatC
167168.  Wed Apr 18, 2007 4:47 am Reply with quote

I'd be amazed if any of them existed - except as self-conscious jokes. I have a friend who used to have H.W.A.H after his name on his business cards; he was a jobbing repairman, and the “letters after his name” stood for “Handy With A Hammer”. I can imagine a window cleaner giving himself a fancy title - for a laugh, as an ice-breaker, or in order to stand out in a crowded market - and I can imagine a reporter pretending to believe it was sincere in order to get a “the modern world has all gone crazy” story out of it. Personally, I wouldn’t touch this with a bargepole - lacking the resources to really nail it down, we’re in danger of ending up looking like a complete bunch of broadsheet journalists.

 
Gray
167190.  Wed Apr 18, 2007 5:34 am Reply with quote

Unless we can think up amusing job titles for Stephen, the guests and the audience...

Stephen: Interrogative Manager in charge of Prolixity Augmentation Facilitation.
Guests: Entertainment Sector Solutions Consultants.
Audience: Adulatory Reactive Generation Cooperative.

 
MatC
167759.  Thu Apr 19, 2007 7:29 am Reply with quote

By contrast to fancified job titles, there is a bloke at the British Museum who is in charge of handling heavy objects - moving mummies from one place to another, or getting statues ready for shipping abroad, and so forth - and his official job title is “Senior Heavy-Objects Handler.”
S: ‘The Museum’ by Rupert Smith (BBC Books, 2007)

 
MatC
172211.  Sat May 05, 2007 7:24 am Reply with quote

Quote:
Many people pointed out that the most famous example of a name change for marketing purposes was that of rapeseed to canola in North America. It didn't come to mind when I
wrote the item, as that name isn't well known in the UK, where we call a spade a spade and a rape plant a rape plant, though its oil is usually sold labelled euphemistically as "vegetable oil".

- World Wide Words, 5 May 07.

I wonder why they don’t sell it as “rape oil” ... ?

 

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