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Excrement

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MatC
145879.  Mon Feb 12, 2007 7:25 am Reply with quote

The word “shit” can be used in the Commons, after a ruling by Sir Michael Lord, the Deputy Speaker, provided it’s used to describe human excrement and “not another person.”

S: Daily Telegraph 10 Jan 07

 
MatC
147943.  Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:00 am Reply with quote

All over the internet (and in a flyer for Prospect Magazine, which is where I saw it) it claims that “most British toilets flush in the key of E Flat”.

I’m not sure if that’s interesting, or not (let alone true); I suppose they've got to be some note or other.

 
Gaazy
147948.  Fri Feb 16, 2007 11:26 am Reply with quote

The claim is, if I may use an apposite term, crap.

Even if a note is produced - and I reckon the noise of flushing is mostly white noise and therefore contains a whole spectrum of pitches - that on its own would not constitute a 'key': for that to happen, many separate, discrete, notes would have to be produced, enough to establish a key-centre, and bear in mind that two completely different keys can have as many as six notes in common (out of a possible total of seven).

Put it another way, if only, say, three pitches were sounded - C, D and E - the key could be any of the following six: C, G, F, A minor, F minor and G minor (melodic form).

 
Flash
148077.  Fri Feb 16, 2007 3:45 pm Reply with quote

What if you put that blue stuff in the cistern? Does it put the loo into a minor pentatonic with a flat 5 that's constantly moaning about how it's always being shat upon?

 
Gaazy
148147.  Fri Feb 16, 2007 7:10 pm Reply with quote

minor pentatonic???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 
Flash
148165.  Fri Feb 16, 2007 7:31 pm Reply with quote

A blues scale, you see - a minor pentatonic with a dim5, I believe. Have I gummed up, aside from it being a thoroughly feeble joke? I wouldn't want it to be factually incorrect as well.

 
Gaazy
148216.  Sat Feb 17, 2007 5:25 am Reply with quote

Sorry Flash, I was stuck in what is rather snootily called 'legit' music, where a pentatonic scale is usually thought of as being neither major nor minor.

However, the most prevalent pentatonic scale in non-jazz usage is the one represented by the black notes of the piano (F#, G#, A#, C#, D#), and if the F# is used as a tonic then it does have a strong major-key feel to it, having as it does the requisite major third and perfect fifth.

However, if the D# is instead thought of as the tonic, the feel then becomes that of a minor scale, or at least modal (having a 'flattened' seventh); furthermore there is absolutely no reason in theory to restrict the notes of a pentatonic scale to the ones I listed, so any one having a minor third and perfect 5th could be thought of as being in the minor.

So, although the term 'minor pentatonic' doesn't crop up in my neck of the musical woods, all in all my post was ill-considered, and I consider my wrist lightly slapped.

Ouch.

 
MatC
148217.  Sat Feb 17, 2007 5:30 am Reply with quote

Flash wrote:
A blues scale, you see - a minor pentatonic with a dim5, I believe. Have I gummed up, aside from it being a thoroughly feeble joke? I wouldn't want it to be factually incorrect as well.


Yes, that really is the worst thing, isn’t it? A factually incorrect joke. For instance, where are the actual sources for sharks living in custard? There was nothing about it in the Western Daily P.

 
Jenny
151022.  Fri Feb 23, 2007 11:48 pm Reply with quote

According to the National Wool Museum in the Teifi Valley of Wales, they used to wash woollen cloth with human urine. They paid a penny a bucket, two pence if you were a Methodist because it would be alcohol free.

Source: http://digital.guardian.co.uk/guardian/2007/02/24/pages/ber16.shtml

 
Gaazy
151052.  Sat Feb 24, 2007 5:01 am Reply with quote

That's what fulling is, of course - using human urine to wash wool.

Here's another example.

I love the idea of Methodist alcohol-free pee though.

 
dr.bob
151467.  Mon Feb 26, 2007 4:57 am Reply with quote

Yeah, I think being a Fuller turned up on Tony Robinson's "Worst Jobs in History". So if you ever meet anyone with the surname "Fuller", you'll know that, at some point in the past, their ancestors spent a lot of time up to their knees in urine.

 
Gaazy
151670.  Mon Feb 26, 2007 12:37 pm Reply with quote

Here's an extract from a blog called The Wonderful World of Manure and Bodily Fluids.

It's a quote from Jeffrey L. Singman's Daily Life in Medieval Europe (Westport, CN: Greenwood Press, 1999).

Quote:
Medieval people were not very squeamish about urine: not only was it an essential element in tanning leather and fulling cloth, but the medieval physician's analysis of a patient's urine was expected to take into account taste as well as appearance.


The blog's author introduces it thus:
Quote:
This is a blog about my exploration of bodily fluids and poo during the time period of 650 AD to about 1600 AD.

- and treats us, inter alia, to an experiment using a urine vat ("contributed to by three healthy adults and me", says the author) and a piece of silk.

There are pictures.

I feel slightly sick.

 
MatC
151713.  Mon Feb 26, 2007 3:27 pm Reply with quote

I find your use of the word "slightly" slightly worrying!

 
dr.bob
151810.  Tue Feb 27, 2007 4:25 am Reply with quote

If I remember correctly from the aforementioned Tony Robinson vehicle, fulling worked best if the urine had been left for a few days to "go off".

I remember the experiment they did used some urine that had been "contributed" by the film crew. Cue scenes of Robinson stamping around in a bucket full of stale piss, gagging frequently as he got another strong whiff of the stuff.

 
Gaazy
151811.  Tue Feb 27, 2007 4:26 am Reply with quote

OK, I feel really sick now.

 

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