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Sex Scenes

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dr.bob
1259333.  Fri Nov 03, 2017 5:23 am Reply with quote

L on earth wrote:
I recently read a romance novel self-published by a member of my family, which contained a fair amount of (terribly-written) sex scenes.


You are Jamie Morton and I claim my five pounds!

For anyone unaware, I can thoroughly recommend the podcast My Dad Wrote a Porno. It consists of the aforementioned Mr Morton and two of his friends reading through a book his father wrote which contains the most cringe-worthy sex scenes imaginable. It is extremely funny.

The podcast has lots of celebrity fans who have appeared on it. QI's Dan Schreiber has also been on ;-)

 
monzac
1259341.  Fri Nov 03, 2017 5:44 am Reply with quote

Yes, MDWAP is wall to wall gratuitous sex scenes in the pots and pans industry.

 
cornixt
1259389.  Fri Nov 03, 2017 10:09 am Reply with quote

As a teenager, I read a lot of horror novels. There must have been some unwritten rules that every horror novel since 1970 must contain at least one sex scene for the protagonist, who was always a young to middle aged man who was a bit of a bastard but his heart was in the right place.

 
'yorz
1259390.  Fri Nov 03, 2017 10:42 am Reply with quote

On top of his dick?

 
suze
1259405.  Fri Nov 03, 2017 11:41 am Reply with quote

I've never been particularly keen on horror fiction other than Stephen King (whom I don't really consider to be a horror fiction writer, although that is a subject for an essay rather than a sentence in passing here).

But when the good husband was in his teens and early twenties he probably read a lot of the same books that cornixt did, and he concurs with the suggestion that a sex scene is a compulsory feature.

It was in one of James Herbert's novels that he encountered the notion of the male central character "using her anus as a vagina" (apparently that is precisely how it was worded). Until he read that, husband had not even been aware of this possibility. The things he missed out on by not being raised Catholic ...

 
cornixt
1259410.  Fri Nov 03, 2017 12:42 pm Reply with quote

Ah, the now infamous Loophole.

 
crissdee
1259417.  Fri Nov 03, 2017 1:16 pm Reply with quote

suze wrote:
"using her anus as a vagina" ......... Until he read that, husband had not even been aware of this possibility.


Iirc, when I was introduced to the "f" word as a child* (by a school contemporary, just in case you were worrying!) I was told that was what it meant. It was only some time later** I learned of the "other" way.




*Late Infant school, probably about 7 years old.

** Early Junior school, pre-teens.

 
Paul-R
1259437.  Fri Nov 03, 2017 2:28 pm Reply with quote

cornixt wrote:
There must have been some unwritten rules that every horror novel since 1970 must contain at least one sex scene.

Ah yes, memories. I used to read a lot of horror novels, and in the 1970s I was a teenager. In a previous post I said that I hate sex scenes in books, but that is now. As a teenager I was quite keen on them, and I can still remember one scene in a Guy N Smith novel where the monster was chasing the heroine through the woods. Her clothes kept snagging on the trees, so she had to take them off and discard them one by one as she ran. As a teenager I could visualize every moment of that scene in my mind's eye.

 
suze
1259465.  Fri Nov 03, 2017 6:17 pm Reply with quote

crissdee wrote:
suze wrote:
"using her anus as a vagina" ......... Until he read that, husband had not even been aware of this possibility.


Iirc, when I was introduced to the "f" word as a child* (by a school contemporary, just in case you were worrying!) I was told that was what it meant. It was only some time later** I learned of the "other" way.

*Late Infant school, probably about 7 years old.

** Early Junior school, pre-teens.


I was aware of the f-word from an early age, since it was a regular feature of my dad's vocabulary. I remember my mom telling me that it was a "soldier's swear word" which girls mustn't say, but at that stage she didn't elaborate.

By the time I was about 12 I had given up on the notion that girls mustn't say it, and by then I certainly knew what it meant. I learned of the back door possibility when my mom did The Talk with me, although she asserted that no one other than "queer men in San Francisco" actually did it.

It wasn't very long before I learned from my sister - two school years my senior - that the receptive end of that act was not restricted to males. Neither she nor I were good enough Catholics to preserve our virginities by means of the Loophole, but we knew girls who did.


My dad's industrial language must also have included the c-word because he called me one once (although not until I was in my 20s, and tbh I more or less deserved it), but he avoided it in the hearing of my sister or me when we were kids. Accordingly, I didn't encounter that one until school camp in the Rockies when I was about 10. Some boys had discovered it, and were taking great delight in calling each other one. At that time I had no idea what it meant and I had no particular reason to suppose that it was rude, so immediately I got back from the trip I asked my mom. That went down well ...

 
filofax
1264277.  Tue Nov 28, 2017 3:53 am Reply with quote

I recently watched Anomalisa with Filoboy in the same room.
I'm not normally prudish, but there was a fairly explicit sex scene which I found very uncomfortable watching with my son.

Perhaps it was because the characters were made of plastacine. It was like watching Wallace and Gromit having a shag. Very inappropriate.

(good film though)

 
tetsabb
1264309.  Tue Nov 28, 2017 6:33 am Reply with quote

I seem to remember a scene like that in Team America-World Police, or whatever it was called. Though puppets, rather than plasticine figures.

 
Baryonyx
1264311.  Tue Nov 28, 2017 6:34 am Reply with quote

How about the Sausage Party sex scene, eh guys?

 
ali
1264317.  Tue Nov 28, 2017 6:53 am Reply with quote

crissdee wrote:

Iirc, when I was introduced to the "f" word as a child* (by a school contemporary, just in case you were worrying!) I was told that was what it meant. It was only some time later** I learned of the "other" way.




*Late Infant school, probably about 7 years old.

** Early Junior school, pre-teens.


A bit later for me (maybe 9). One of my contemporaries told me an incomprehensible joke that she had to explain. This just confirmed to me that adults were weird, as I thought.

 
Celebaelin
1264352.  Tue Nov 28, 2017 10:35 am Reply with quote

My understanding of sex was made more difficult by playground/rugby club repetition of jokes by people who didn't understand the joke in the first place and therefore badly mashed it. Once or twice my puzzled expression made me the subject of ridicule of the "Ha ha - he doesn't get it!" variety only for me to reply "You told it wrong - it should go like this" leaving the 'wordly wise' boys to wonder away confused and muttering about how I wasn't one of them.

I think the Rag Mags my eldest sister left around were a big help under those circumstances. Later on Biology legitimised the area of discussion.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rag_(student_society)#Rag_Mag

 
tetsabb
1385955.  Sat Jul 24, 2021 4:00 am Reply with quote

filofax wrote:
I recently watched Anomalisa with Filoboy in the same room.
I'm not normally prudish, but there was a fairly explicit sex scene which I found very uncomfortable watching with my son.

Perhaps it was because the characters were made of plastacine. It was like watching Wallace and Gromit having a shag. Very inappropriate.

(good film though)


We watched that last night. I can imagine watching it with a teen would be ..... uncomfortable. But I I thought that scene was tastefully done, and the teenager in question might have learned about focussing on the lady's enjoyment.
Very interesting film, if a little depressing.

 

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