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1,720 Uses For Sausages

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alwatson
110318.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 2:45 am Reply with quote

They can be used for childish puns when I've been to the chippy and got my sausage, chips and gravy.

"Would anyone like a bite of my sausage?"

 
Mr Grue
110319.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 2:58 am Reply with quote

A warning to pigs.

 
Gray
110378.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:08 am Reply with quote

When thrown on the ground, they can act as night-time flares for rhinocerouses - or any animal whose sense of smell is far more acute than its eyesight.

 
samivel
110383.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:12 am Reply with quote

You could use them as (rather inefficient) replacement candles.

 
strukkanurv
110392.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:19 am Reply with quote

Ornaments which change colour & texture over time.

 
djgordy
110393.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:19 am Reply with quote

You can use to them to flick subbuteo football pieces.

 
Mr Grue
110402.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:37 am Reply with quote

Robert Gravy wrote:
The industrialist Davison Scragend developed, in 1809, a most singular sausage. Peculiar to its design was the creation, through superlative bladder control on the part of Scragend's butcher friend Thomas Alec, a "double chamber" allowing pork to fill one half of the width of the sausage, and beef the other. A sausage thus prepared would then be fixed in place within an oven. With the pork and beef cooking at different speeds, the sausage would bend dependent on the temperature and length of cooking. Thus Scragend was able with little experimentation to chance upon the optimum heat levels for the vast ovens used in his cooked sausage factories. The Bi-Meat / Alec sausages are still used over modern methods of sausage engineering by some traditionalists, partly due to their simplicity, and partly because they taste quite fiendish.

 
samivel
110407.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:47 am Reply with quote

You could use a string of them as a scarf.

You could use a string of them as an alternative to tinsel on your Christmas tree.

You could use a string of them as a belt.


Last edited by samivel on Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:59 am; edited 1 time in total

 
Tas
110409.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:50 am Reply with quote

Quote:
Peculiar to its design was the creation, through superlative bladder control on the part of Scragend's butcher friend Thomas Alec


Now, there's a phrase you would not come across every day...

:-)

Tas

 
Mr Grue
110416.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:58 am Reply with quote

Tas wrote:

Now, there's a phrase you would not come across every day...


I'm just glad all those years of reading The Fosdyke Saga are finally paying off.

 
violetriga
110425.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 6:07 am Reply with quote

Ear plugs

Representing a unary counting system

 
Hans Mof
110454.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 7:11 am Reply with quote

A bolster

(coincidentilly called Bettwurst (bed sausage) in German)

 
Tas
110466.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 7:22 am Reply with quote

A replacement spindle for stair bannisters.

:-)

Tas

 
Tas
110468.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 7:23 am Reply with quote

A replacement spindle for stair bannisters.

:-)

Tas

 
djgordy
110472.  Wed Nov 01, 2006 7:29 am Reply with quote

A replacement spindle for stair bannisters.

 

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