View previous topic | View next topic

Stupid comments

Page 1 of 3
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next

Davel
93496.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:11 am Reply with quote

Here is a stupid comment I heard recently in an interview that deffinately was not meant as a silly joke.

"I like going out alot and socialising. You could say I'm a socialist"

Another one is from my dear mother. A man came to give us a quote on a conservatory and said what a lovely dog we had. My mother replied, "Thankyou, do you have a horse too?"

Anyone else heard or said something silly recently? I have, but there are too many to write !

 
Twopints
93501.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:29 am Reply with quote

On seeing a police helicopter circling round near our office recently, a work colleague said "we must have a convent on the roof".

Presumably she meant convict

 
Southpaw
93502.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:31 am Reply with quote

My mother also utters some pearls, but for the life of me I can't remember any of them..oh wait!

You know those posters Royal Mail put up recently, with a close up of a pillar box, to advertise the new postal charge system? My mother and I were driving past one and she said "Gosh, that's a big postbox!", completely seriously.

 
cornixt
93536.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 6:32 am Reply with quote

I was talking about how you can take the driving theory test in one of 30-odd languages (hoping to strike up a conversation about how if you live here long enough to take a driving test you should probably speak English or Welsh at least) when my girlfriend at the time said "Do they do it in braille?" completely seriously.

 
Neotenic
93550.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 7:27 am Reply with quote

One of my old bosses used to mix metaphors like there was no tomorrow.

Two that immediately spring to mind are

"I don't want this to become a milestone around our necks".

And my personal favourite, when asking if an issue had been solved;

"Is this a butt that's been plugged?"

 
Davel
93557.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 7:46 am Reply with quote

All very good silly comments!

On the "Do they do it in braille?" note, I remember a joke an Ozzie cabbie told me about an American customer: -

Whilst stopped at a pedestrian crossing this American asks me, "What's that beeping sound?" That's for the blind people i replied. The Yank then says, "In America they don't let blind people drive"

 
Southpaw
93558.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 7:50 am Reply with quote

Quote:
The Yank then says, "In America they don't let blind people drive"


Which is surprising, considering the leniency of some of the driving tests...

 
snophlake
93605.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:31 am Reply with quote

My boyfriends got this thing about pinching my nipples and I said, 'Its easy for you to find my nipples, they're on the end of my breasts'. What I meant was it's harder for me to find his quickly cos he's flat chested and Ive got nothing to aim for.

 
crashads
93606.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:33 am Reply with quote

Why exactly do men have nipples??

 
swot
93608.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:34 am Reply with quote

They develop before the rush of hormones determining the sex of the baby.

 
crashads
93609.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:39 am Reply with quote

Oh. QI that. I always thought a hormone was the sound that came from a prostitutes bedroom.

Watch the film Time Bandits. Evil goes on about Gods Creations

'36 different species of parrot!'
'Nipples for men!!'

(servant): Slugs!

Slugs! he created Slugs!! are we not in the hands of a complete incompetent!!

 
snophlake
93610.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:41 am Reply with quote

Time Bandits is one of my all time favourite films. Its a claasic that everyone should be made to watch.

 
crashads
93612.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:45 am Reply with quote

Absolutley.

'Who was that man?'
'That was no man, That was the Supreme Being!'
'What....you mean God?'
'Oh, we dont know him that well.'

Michael Palin cracks me up in that film

' I MUST HAVE FRUIT!'

 
Tas
93620.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 10:03 am Reply with quote

"How long have you been a Merry Man?"

"Three Foot Six!"

"That long? Excellent."

Robin "John Cleese" Hood during an inspection of the Merry Men.
(Time Bandits)

:-)

Tas

 
crashads
93623.  Fri Sep 15, 2006 10:07 am Reply with quote

'Do you want to be leader?'

'No, we agreed. No leader!'

'Right....so shut up and do what I say'

 

Page 1 of 3
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next

All times are GMT - 5 Hours


Display posts from previous:   

Search Search Forums

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group