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Misogyny in young boys

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1376612.  Thu Mar 11, 2021 12:13 pm Reply with quote

Disclaimer: I don't know any of the correct terminology for what I'm about to talk about which makes googling any of this very hard. I am hoping that someone here might either have the answers I seek or if not be able to steer me in the right direction with proper terms and scientific terminology to help my googling.

Second Disclaimer: I realise that what I'm going to say is phrased in such a way that assumes that all young boys grow up to fancy girls. I am making this assumption in the full knowledge that it's wrong but it makes what I am about to type easier to follow. I apologise to anyone who is offended by this sweeping generalisation.

So ...

I have sometimes said, always as a light-hearted comment I hasten to add, that a lot of young boys go through an "ew, girls" phase before they get older and morph into "mm, girls". Normally at this point, I then talk about the actress who "morphed" me, i.e. my first ever crush, and the resulting conversation is always light-hearted in tone as we talk about "oh yeah, seeing this person in that show" or "that teacher at school when they did that", etc.

And despite the jocular way I phrase it, I have always believed that there was some modicum of truth in what I said.

But recently, I've changed my mind.
I know longer think that all boys going through an "ew, girls" phase morph to "mm, girls"; I think that MOST do but some of them stay at "ew, girls" but they now have the urge to have sex with girls, too. So there is a disconnect between their emotional likes and their biological likes.
And I'm wondering if that can be seen as one of the causes of misogyny?
A resentment and anger at wanting to have sex with some one that these men don't actually like?

More relevantly, and my reason for making this post, I wonder how much research has been done into boys going through an "ew, girls" phase, how their attitude to girls changes as they get older, whether it leads to certain attitudes later in life, whether there is a difference in adulthood between boys who had that phase and those who did not, and, most importantly of all, if there is even a technical term for the "ew, girls" phase?

1376695.  Fri Mar 12, 2021 10:27 am Reply with quote

Welcome to the forums! No idea about the causes of misogyny, but it occurs to me that girls often go through a "ew boys" phase, and in many cases it lasts somewhat longer, but you don't tend to see girls accused of misandry except by misogynists.

1376703.  Fri Mar 12, 2021 12:06 pm Reply with quote

I don't think there's a natural phase of young boys going through "ew girls", it seems to be more about separation of the sexes in society that seems to cause this.

I've seen plenty of examples where very young boys and girls play with each other without any issues of who's stronger or should be the leader, or who should play with what and with whom.

I think what happens is that we as a society project an idea that boys and girls are different and this leads children to view each other differently. You see the same when parents project racism and other ills onto their children.

As for misogyny, I think it's a bit of both nurture and nature in that we grow up learning behaviours, or being shaped by people and events, but there are also those who are naturally aggressive or disdainful who need less nurture to develop that kind of personality.

1376786.  Sat Mar 13, 2021 10:16 am Reply with quote

It seems to me (from observation, not from academic studies, so feel free to disregard if you know better) that the 'ew boys' and 'ew girls' phase seems to kick in once children get to around 7 and last through to when sexual maturity starts to kick in and hormones exert their pull.

Now it may be true, as CB suggests, that this is partly to do with how schools treat boys and girls, in that some schools still start splitting them up for activities such as sports (which actually seems pretty silly to me at that age). It could also be that pre-pubertal girls tend to be ahead of pre-pubertal boys in language arts stuff and often fine physical control such as handwriting, which then can lead to boys acting out and clowning.

However, this all seems to sort itself out post-puberty.


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