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Funny of the Day

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extremophilesheep
1341177.  Thu Jan 23, 2020 2:55 pm Reply with quote

My wonderful but awfully dyslexic partner has just informed me he's cooking a dinner: spuds, carrots, peas and mice.

 
crissdee
1344164.  Tue Mar 17, 2020 11:21 am Reply with quote

A short passage in the book I am currently reading, worthy of Blackadder himself;

"They couldn't have been more real if they'd had a factory stamp on their backs stating that they were a real product of Realness Incorporated, makers of real things that are, in reality, real."

 
AlmondFacialBar
1344169.  Tue Mar 17, 2020 12:26 pm Reply with quote

extremophilesheep wrote:
My wonderful but awfully dyslexic partner has just informed me he's cooking a dinner: spuds, carrots, peas and mice.


Well if Tesco was out of everything else...

crissdee wrote:
A short passage in the book I am currently reading, worthy of Blackadder himself;

"They couldn't have been more real if they'd had a factory stamp on their backs stating that they were a real product of Realness Incorporated, makers of real things that are, in reality, real."


Beautiful!

:-)

AlmondFacialBar

 
suze
1344172.  Tue Mar 17, 2020 12:36 pm Reply with quote

AlmondFacialBar wrote:
Well if Tesco was out of everything else...


A bit of pupil banter from this afternoon has it that this is when you can tell what foodstuffs no one actually likes.

The pupils were confident that if I should walk into a supermarket right now, there would be no difficulty in scoring liver, malt loaf, sprouts, Irn Bru (which I actually like, but teenaged girls seem not to), or mushy peas. What else will never go out of stock?

 
cnb
1344175.  Tue Mar 17, 2020 12:44 pm Reply with quote

suze wrote:
What else will never go out of stock?


It depends which supermarket you go to. My local Waitrose had only the expensive De Cecco brand pasta left - all the cheaper stuff had gone - but in Lidl, all the expensive pasta had sold out and all that was left was the value range spaghetti.

 
crissdee
1344190.  Tue Mar 17, 2020 4:48 pm Reply with quote

If I did not have to watch my sugar intake, there would scarcely be a malt loaf to had in Builth Wells, I love the stuff, but my pancreas might take umbrage if I were to indulge.....

 
Efros
1344192.  Tue Mar 17, 2020 5:01 pm Reply with quote

Malt loaf is a delicacy that only true connoisseurs can appreciate. Slathered in butter and consumed with a hot cup of tea... NOM!

 
crissdee
1344200.  Wed Mar 18, 2020 5:33 am Reply with quote

NOM indeed!

 
PDR
1344206.  Wed Mar 18, 2020 6:52 am Reply with quote

You were doing well until you mentioned tea.

PDR

 
Awitt
1344209.  Wed Mar 18, 2020 7:07 am Reply with quote

cnb wrote:
suze wrote:
What else will never go out of stock?


It depends which supermarket you go to. My local Waitrose had only the expensive De Cecco brand pasta left - all the cheaper stuff had gone - but in Lidl, all the expensive pasta had sold out and all that was left was the value range spaghetti.


And this afternoon when walking down to the shops from my school to get lunch, I saw some carelessly discarded pasta shells on the ground. Don't people know how hard it is to get these things at the moment? (and as one whose limited diet is getting harder to care for)

 
AlmondFacialBar
1344210.  Wed Mar 18, 2020 7:19 am Reply with quote

As people tend not to randomly discard pasta, and even less so in a time of empty supermarket shelves, I dare say those fell from someone's overflowing shopping bag, no? Probably the packet fell out, burst, and they picked up most of it for the bin, but those few were left. Their owner was probably super frustrated by it, too.

:-)

AlmondFacialBar

 
NinOfEden
1344555.  Sun Mar 22, 2020 4:27 pm Reply with quote

Mr. Nin: Do you want to hear about my bike?
Me: Let's do a deal - if I listen to you talk about your bike, you have to listen to me talk about my Camberwick Green fan theories.
Mr. Nin: Fantasies? You mean you want to do naughty stuff with Windy Miller?!
Me: FAN. THEORIES.

 
PDR
1344563.  Sun Mar 22, 2020 5:23 pm Reply with quote

So you think it's Mrs Murohy who's doing naughty stuff with Windy Miller to get flour discounts?

PDR

 
cornixt
1344592.  Mon Mar 23, 2020 9:45 am Reply with quote

I always thought that Mrs Hubbard on Postman Pat was an unconvincing trans lady, but at least she seems happy and wasn't rejected by the church.

 
NinOfEden
1344603.  Mon Mar 23, 2020 1:50 pm Reply with quote

PDR wrote:
So you think it's Mrs Murohy who's doing naughty stuff with Windy Miller to get flour discounts?

PDR

Naah, I think Windy Miller is aro-ace.
Mrs. Murphy loves her family and her life and wouldn't risk it all, even for cheap flour.

 

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