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67162.  Tue Apr 25, 2006 7:46 am Reply with quote

Full question, curtesy of Bunter (the potty mouth):

Question: Who wrote the song "Lick my arse?"

Answer: Mozart.

It's hard to reconcile the fact that one of the world's most profoundly gifted composers had a scatological sense of humour. But surprising as it may seem, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (christened Joannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart) was as fond of faecal matters as your average nursery schooler.

While there are hundreds of examples of Mozart's taste for the crude, lewd and rude, the finest must surely be his canons "Leck mich im Arsch" ("Lick my arse") and "Leck mich im Arsch fein recht schan saubera, meaning "Lick me in the arse nice and clean".

Indeed, the first of the canons mentioned - "Leck mich im Arsch" - includes the immortal line "Lick my arse beautifully, really clean, lick it; that's an oily desire, it's only good smeared with butter". Historians believe that this phrase was latterly changed by his wife, Constanze, to "Nothing refreshes me more than wine" at the request of his (conservative) publishers.

Mozart's bawdy tastes exhibit themselves best in his extensive letter writing. He made references to excrement and urination in almost 40 of the 371 letters we have on record. His two favourite words? "Muck" and "piddle".

Bizarrely, some of his crudest references are to be found in his letters to his cousin, Maria Anna Thekla Mozart ,otherwise known as "The Basle". But rather than revealing a man with a penchant for inter family breeding, Mozart fans believe his use of coarse language was an excepted way for 18th century intelligentsia to rally against the stifling social conventions of their day.

Reassuringly, Mozart's lewd legacy lives on in name and spirit. To celebrate the bicentenary of Mozart's death in 1991, a company called Triumph International, Japan's second-largest lingerie company, made a musical bra with blinking lights which played 20 seconds of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Although Triumph's intentions were commendable, they made a classic error by attributing "Twinkle Twinkle" to Mozart. Although Mozart composed variations on the melody, the lyrics were written by London based sisters Jane and Anne Taylor and the melody was originally French.

By the way, we slipped The Pogues into the question because the Anglo-Irish band was initially called "Pogue Mahone". In Irish, this means... 'Kiss my arse'.

Besides, to people I'm tied
Who carry their muck inside
And let it out, if they are able,
Both before and after table.
At night of farts there is no lack,
Which are let off, forsooth, with a powerful crack.
The king of farts came yesterday
Whose farts smelt sweeter than the may [honey].

Mozart, in a letter to his mother, dated 31 January 1778

Last edited by eggshaped on Wed May 03, 2006 6:59 am; edited 2 times in total

67163.  Tue Apr 25, 2006 7:47 am Reply with quote

Mozart's mucky-mindedness was the fashion in Salzburg - Letter.
184 words
26 November 2000
The Sunday Times
(c) 2000 Times Newspapers Ltd Not Available for Re-dissemination.
PETER SHAFFER (Letters, last week) thinks that the new translation of Mozart's letters by Robert Spaethling vindicates his portrayal of Mozart as one who habitually descended into scatological banter. He need not have waited for Spaethling's translation to learn that Mozart often used phrases such as "I s*** on your nose". He even composed a secular cantata entitled, "Lick my arse" (K233).

The original scatological letters are set out in full in the 1966 reprint of the edition by Emily Anderson.

Moreover, it is offensive to the great composer's memory when Shaffer postulates some sort of schizoid division between Mozart's genius and his dirty-mindedness.

Not only did young Wolfgang and his cousin, "the Basle", exchange mucky letters, but this habit was endemic among the provincial intelligentsia of 18th-century Salzburg. Mozart's father and mother also wrote in that idiom.

None of these "findings", however, can detract from the fact that Amadeus is still a s****y little play.

Rev Peter Mullen

London EC1

(c) Times Newspapers Ltd, 2000.

Document st00000020010817dwbq00j74

67164.  Tue Apr 25, 2006 7:47 am Reply with quote

>From the Manchester Guardian, 15Mar91, WOP:

(By Videk Chaudhary)

A canon written by Mozart and supressed by his publishers for being
"unruly" received its first public performance yesterday to launch a
festival celebrating the bicentenary of his death.

"Leck mich in Arsch" - "Lick my arse" - was originally submitted by
Mozart's father to the publishers Breitkopf and Hartel for use in their
complete edition in 1799, along with other canons his son had written.

Innocuous alternatives were substituted for some of the more "unruly"
phrases. But though some of the original canons survived, others were lost
and have been eagerly sought after by scholars.

A copy of Mozart's complete works in the Breitkopf edition, which includes
the original texts inserted in handwriting underneath Breitkopf's censored
version, has now been bought by Harvard University Library.

These works will form part of a festival of concerts at London's South Bank
Centre in August, entitled Mozart Now.

"Leck mich in Arsch" was previously known only by its initials, LMIA, but
the real text was revealed for the first time: "Lick my arse, quickly,
quickly, quickly..."

A Mozart exhibition will be held in August to coincide with the South Bank
concerts. His marriage contract and some personal letters will be included
in it.

67165.  Tue Apr 25, 2006 7:47 am Reply with quote

Cheeky Amadeus
304 words
3 November 1995
Sydney Morning Herald
Copyright of John Fairfax Group Pty Ltd
So you don't think you have much in common with Mozart? Think again.

In honour of January's Mostly Mozart festival, designed to bring the great man's music to the public (and a highlight of the Opera House's summer program), we present hard evidence that the composer had more in common with today's raunchy foul-mouthed punters than you may ever have suspected.

Exhibit A: Amadeus Mozart made references to excrement, urination and other scatological subjects in almost 40 of 371 letters.

Exhibit B: "Muck" and "piddle" were two of Mozart's favourite swear words.

Exhibit C: In 1991 two new texts were discovered to Mozart canons. It emerged that the composer's original lyrics to K231 consisted of the phrase "Lick my arse beautifully, really clean, lick it; that's an oily desire, it's only good smeared with butter". His wife, Constanze, altered this to read "Nothing refreshes me more than wine".

Exhibit D: To celebrate the bicentenary of Mozart's death in 1991, a Japanese firm produced musical bras which played 20 seconds of Mozart after being strapped on. The bras had matching panties which flashed with tiny lights when the music played.

Exhibit H: Mozart is the student's friend. Californian research in 1993 suggested that listening to Mozart for 10 minutes could improve your intelligence by almost 10 per cent. The only drawback was that the effect wore off after 15 minutes.

Now you know that you and Amadeus would have got on just fine, maybe you'll feel more comfortable attending Mostly Mozart which runs for two weeks from January 1 and includes the hotly contested Mozart busking competition and a concert featuring conductor Maxim Shostakovich. Just bear in mind that there's unlikely to be too much moshing.

68222.  Tue May 02, 2006 1:08 pm Reply with quote

updated 02/05/06

68309.  Wed May 03, 2006 6:06 am Reply with quote

I don't think it should be multiple choice for the show...that format was more for the book....x

68310.  Wed May 03, 2006 6:08 am Reply with quote

...Perhaps we could play the music, and ask the guests to mime what they think the title of the song is...and then show a video clip of a cat licking its bottom as the correct answer....?


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