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Murderous Baseball All-Stars

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1125181.  Mon Mar 23, 2015 7:27 am Reply with quote

“When you play the game of baseball you win or you die.” You can imagine this being a metaphorical phrase of motivation coming out of the mouth of any number of coaches as a way of emphasising that life wouldn’t be worth living if you lose. But if you’re manager Felix Alston that statement not only had teeth but gallows and gas chambers.

As warden of Wyoming Penitentiary, Alston didn’t need talent scouts to make up his All-Stars because he had a judge sending him plenty of condemned men who happened to be great at catching, throwing, hitting and murdering.

As a prison reformer Alston saw things like education and sport as a means for prisoners to find retribution, even for those who had been sent there to be killed. His baseball team not only turned out to be grateful but also great winning 39 out of 45 matches in the space of a year and being good enough to play in the local amateur leagues against players who were more enthusiasts than psychopaths.

Victims of the families were naturally furious that this band of murderers was allowed to enjoy such success. Problem is many locals instead of calling for justice were calling on the All-Stars to win their next game, an estimated $132,000 was wagered on the team. The re-election campaigns of 3 state politicians are said to have been funded by betting on the All Stars and the Supreme Court judge was making so much dosh from bets on the team that he kept on securing stays of execution for them.

But eventually the judge realised he was beginning to look as corrupt as Berlusconi’s Swiss Bank account and caved into pressure from the families and that justice malarkey and stopped giving the team reprieves. Before most of the team were executed there was still time for hundreds of locals to petition the governor for clemency, pleading that the team had repented for previous sins such as infanticide, rape and stealing third base.

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