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Frederick The Monk
55513.  Sun Feb 26, 2006 4:06 am Reply with quote

I think we might have a lot more to come on this from the research thread, but as a starter:

TOPIC: Darts

QUESTION: "When Alexander of Macedon was 33 he cried salt tears that there were no more worlds to conquer. '____' is 27." - Who is '____'?


ANSWER: Eric Bristow.

NOTES: The quote comes from the famously over-excitable Sid Waddell commentating on the 1985 WDF Embassy World Professional Darts final.

Sid received an open scholarship from St. John's College, Cambridge and went up to read Modern History in 1959. At the time he had recently had a trial for the England Rugby Team but an injury during his first term forced him to look around for another, equally demanding, sport. The obvious choice was darts.

The combination of a Classical Education and a love of Arrers has made for some other memorable lines over the years:

"That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus."

"If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home."

"He's as cool as a prized marrow!"

"You couldn't get more excitement here if Elvis Presley walked in eating a chip sandwich!"                       

"He's playing out of his pie crust."

"He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave."

"Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength."

"Trying to read Reyes's mind is like trying to read the mind of Jabba the Hutt"

"He's going like the Loch Ness Monster with a following wind!"

"Keith Deller is like Long John Silver - he's badly in need of another leg."

"Eyes like a pterodactyl....with contact lenses"

On Bobby George - "He's like a Sherman tank on roller skates coming down a mountain!"

"He may practice 12 hours a day, but he's not shy of the burger van!"

"This game of darts is twisting like a rattlesnake with a hernia!"

"The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!"

"He's like D'Artagnan at the scissor factory."

"He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed."

"Look at him as he takes his stance, like he has been sculptured, whereas Bobby George, with his bad back, looks like the Hunchback of Notre Dame."

"Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts orbit!"

"The atmosphere is a cross between the Munich Beer Festival and the Coliseum when the Christians were on the menu."

And the truly splendid -

"Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis"

This and other Waddell quotes at



POSSIBLE TOPIC/THEME: Links from Doping.

Last edited by Frederick The Monk on Sun Feb 26, 2006 4:19 am; edited 1 time in total

Frederick The Monk
55514.  Sun Feb 26, 2006 4:12 am Reply with quote

Which brings me on to the supplemental:

TOPIC: Darts

QUESTION: VT - What happened next: [Show footage of Dexy's Midnight Runners performance on Top of the Pops in October 1982. The band appear on stage to sing their cover of Van Morrison's "Jackie Wilson Said". As they start an image is back-projected behind them] - What happened next.

FORFEIT: Stage collapses/ different backing track comes on.....

ANSWER: The BBC got the 'wrong' (according to some a 'joke') image and projected darts legend Jocky Wilson behind the band.

NOTES: The producer Michael Hurll and Kevin Rowland from the band still claims it was a deliberate joke by the band and production staff. If it was no-one told the show's host David 'Kid' Jensen.

The song went on to reach No. 5 in the charts.


PICTURES/ PROPS: As above and VT of TOTP October 1982.


POSSIBLE TOPIC/THEME: Darts/ Doping/ Dupes/

Frederick The Monk
55515.  Sun Feb 26, 2006 4:18 am Reply with quote

And whilst I'm on the subject:

TOPIC: Darts

QUESTION: How did Margaret Thatcher get Jocky Wilson banned from professional darts?


ANSWER: By starting the Falkland's War. Jocky's fame turned to infamy when, in 1982 (the same years as the Dexy's Midnight Runners incident) he was banned from competing in Darts tournaments after he allegedly threw a punch at an offical during a championship he was taking part in. His outburst was put down to the stress he was placed under by being married to a woman called 'Malvina' at the time of the Falklands War.

Incidentally, Jocky Wilson was also one of the first sports legends to have a computer games created for him. Published by Zeppelin Games, "Jocky Wilson's Darts Challenge" (1988) and later "Jocky Wilson's Compendium of Darts" (1990) were created for use on several different home computer systems including
Amiga, Atari 8-bit, Atari ST, Commodore 64 and ZX Spectrum. JWDC looked lie this:

Jockey Wilson has also had his lifestory made into a screenplay, written by....Sid Waddell. This from the Sunday Sun (12/02/06)

......That's alongside working on a screenplay about his darts hero, Jocky Wilson, which has yet to find a backer.

Sid was first approached to do the movie around five years ago by film maker Jonathan Hourigan. The two of them then got together with Whitley Bay-based Tommy Cox, a one-time manager of Jocky's.

But there were "artistic differences" about the tone the film should take.

Sid explained: "I see it as a black comedy and my other two colleagues see it as a sort of redemption story.

"I've written what I think are some very funny scenes, but it's still being touted around film companies."

Sid helped Jocky write his own life story which was published in 1983. It's now five years since he last travelled from his home near Leeds to see Jocky in Kirkcaldy, Scotland.

Sid added: "A few years ago he and his wife, Malvina, did a moonlight flit from Newcastle. They left a car on the never-never . . . Jocky couldn't drive and took the bus home to Kirkcaldy."

"There wasn't a cup or plaque in sight, but above the mantelpiece was a colour photo of Jocky holding the 1982 Embassy World Trophy.

"He had no bitterness against anybody and no regrets. He had Sky TV and said his biggest pleasure was swearing at people he had never liked when the darts were on."





242366.  Mon Dec 10, 2007 7:18 am Reply with quote

In a review of a new book - “Top of the Pops: Mishaps, Miming and Music” by Ian Gittins (BBC, 2007) - in Word magazine January 08, the story of the “mistaken” use of Jocky’s photo on TOTP is dealt with thus:

“... inspired use of gigantic Jocky Wilson pic resulting in producer protests that the public would think it “a mistake” - to which Kevin Rowland replied, “Only an idiot would think that.” He woke up next morning “to hear Mike Read saying, ‘Honestly, TOTP. How could they mix up one of the great soul singers with a Scottish darts player?”

If we take that as authoritative, this could make a good Gen Ig?

Frederick The Monk
242985.  Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:17 am Reply with quote

Just perfect. It was certainly widely assumed to be a mistake so I don;t doubt that Mike Read thought so too.


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