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41470.  Thu Dec 22, 2005 3:22 pm Reply with quote

There once was a pretty young lass
Who had the most beautiful ass
But not, as you'd think
Round, firm, and pink,
But grey, with long ears, and eats grass.

41703.  Sat Dec 24, 2005 9:54 pm Reply with quote

Mary had a little lamb
she also had a bear
I've often seen Mary's lamb
but I've never seen her bear

42065.  Thu Dec 29, 2005 10:51 am Reply with quote

Mary had a little bear
To which she was so kind
That everywhere that Mary went
You saw her bear running along after her.

55398.  Sat Feb 25, 2006 9:19 am Reply with quote

Let me raise the tone of this a bit. There's one QI thing at least to be said about the word donkey, and it is that despite being the usual name of one of the commoner farm animals, it isn't particularly old. From Old English onward the name was ass, but then in 1785 Francis Grose's Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue listed the word donkey as meaning 'a he or Jack-ass'. No earlier usage is known to the OED. Over the next fifty years it gained ground quickly over ass until it was easily the commoner word. Why? Simple. The rise of propriety and gentility among the middle classes meant that they were increasingly embarassed by the similarity of ass to arse. The evidence for this is outlined in English Today vol. 10, no. 4.

A second QI thing, now I come to think of it. The word was originally pronounced 'dunkey', but was spelled with an o by analogy with monkey.

gerontius grumpus
55403.  Sat Feb 25, 2006 10:36 am Reply with quote

Mary had a broken bike
She rode it on the grass,
Every time the wheel went round
A spoke went up her skirt.

55655.  Sun Feb 26, 2006 8:30 pm Reply with quote

Well of course there's that "urban myth" about more people being killed each year in donkey-related accidents than plane-crashes... see here and here for more on this!

55660.  Sun Feb 26, 2006 9:48 pm Reply with quote

I say dunkey, but really only to be contrary.

Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was black as hell,
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb would go as well.

It followed her to school one day,
And gave the kids a fright,
To see a lamb with three-inch fangs,
And red eyes glowing bright.

The teacher said it had to go,
She was being rather unkind,
So the lamb opened up a hell mouth,
And Mary followed behind.

55728.  Mon Feb 27, 2006 10:25 am Reply with quote

Mary had a little lamb
Her gynaecologist made a fortune from the tabloids

55729.  Mon Feb 27, 2006 10:28 am Reply with quote

Indeed. I believe the full, horrifying story runs

Mary had a little lamb;
The midwife was surprised.
But when Old McDonald had a farm
She couldn't believe her eyes.

55749.  Mon Feb 27, 2006 11:12 am Reply with quote


It transpires that donkey meat salamis are not an urban (rural?) myth.

Salame d'Asino - Piedmont (Donkey) 'Donkey meat salami'.

I've heard that there's a Polish one as well but that might have been because of post-war privations.

55780.  Mon Feb 27, 2006 12:14 pm Reply with quote

Donkey meat salami is no myth - the Italians are very keen on it as that link shows. The Cantonese are quite partial to a bit of donkey as well.

Donkey sausage was eaten in Poland during the War and at other times of hardship, but the Poles don't really care for it. If proper meat is scarce, they much prefer flaki (tripe soup).

Poland's favourite sausage, kiełbasa, is made of pork, sometimes with the addition of veal, and is not unlike Spanish chorizo. Poland does however export donkeys to Italy for the food trade.

Incidentally, it is not illegal to include horse or donkey in salami for UK consumption, so long as the ingredients list them. Rather more bizarrely, there have been prosecutions in China for passing off donkey meat as tiger. You probably didn't want to know this, but donkey doused in tiger's urine apparently tastes much like tiger meat.

55783.  Mon Feb 27, 2006 12:20 pm Reply with quote

You probably didn't want to know this, but donkey doused in tiger's urine apparently tastes much like tiger meat.

And you get the donkey to stay still how, precisely?

I don't know, tiger pee here, butterfly poo on another thread, I love the intellectualism of this site.

55788.  Mon Feb 27, 2006 12:29 pm Reply with quote

And I remember another thread talking about putting Tiger poo in your garden to keep away unwanted cats...........We're just a bunch of overgrown schoolkids aren't we............?

55799.  Mon Feb 27, 2006 1:03 pm Reply with quote

The worrying thing is that it was me who brought up both tiger pee and butterfly poo ...

You wouldn't guess that I was a 37 year old female university lecturer, and not some spotty 13 year old boy who still thinks South Park is funny! Still, I've recently gotten engaged so I'm young again!

Oh and, erm, I think the donkey stays still by virtue of being dead first.

gerontius grumpus
55836.  Mon Feb 27, 2006 4:10 pm Reply with quote

There used to be an advertising slogan "put a tiger in your tank".

I suppose it must have died out sometime in the seventies when people stoppred wearing tank tops.


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