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1386425.  Sat Jul 31, 2021 4:52 pm Reply with quote

You know when you are getting old when Dennis the Menace and Gnasher are all grown up...


1386426.  Sat Jul 31, 2021 4:57 pm Reply with quote

1387048.  Mon Aug 09, 2021 8:10 am Reply with quote

I went to the grave of the man who invented the electric toothbrush.
There was no plaque

1387101.  Mon Aug 09, 2021 2:05 pm Reply with quote

Kid: "Dad what's leather made from?"
Dad: "Hide".
Kid: "What???"
Dad: "Hide... a cows outside".
Kid: "I'm not afraid of a cow..."
1387392.  Thu Aug 12, 2021 11:18 am Reply with quote

I see that Cat Stevens has had to cut short his caravan holiday.

His awning has broken.

1388051.  Sun Aug 22, 2021 7:53 am Reply with quote

I sent off weeks ago for a book, How to scam the gullible on the Internet.
It still has not arrived.

1388326.  Thu Aug 26, 2021 7:33 am Reply with quote

Scientists were asked for their favourite paradox.

One responded, 'The Astley Paradox'
You ask Rick Astley for his DVD of the film 'Up'. But he said he would never give you 'Up'.
This would thus let you down.
The Astley Paradox.

1388860.  Fri Sep 03, 2021 11:59 am Reply with quote

If I could take ABBA out for dinner, I would, my friend, for Nandos

1389357.  Thu Sep 09, 2021 3:23 am Reply with quote

Why shouldn't you buy hay from the online South American river company?

Because they ask for the feedback.

1389364.  Thu Sep 09, 2021 4:16 am Reply with quote

The Institute of Incomplete Research reports that 6 out of 10 people

1389366.  Thu Sep 09, 2021 5:05 am Reply with quote

(Aussie joke)

Why did all the baked beans move to Queensland?

Because they live in Cairns.

Alexander Howard
1389456.  Fri Sep 10, 2021 5:11 am Reply with quote

It is a respectable company and does not do that sort of thing, so don't try to order a mail-order bride on Amazon.

Also, don't make the mistake I did, of ordering 'Amazon' on Mail Order Brides.

1389892.  Wed Sep 15, 2021 5:49 am Reply with quote

Reports are coming in that on August 30th sheep throughout the country were disorganised and badly behaved.

A farming spokesman blamed the lack of sheep dog cover as it was a Ban-Collie-Day.


1389897.  Wed Sep 15, 2021 6:28 am Reply with quote

How do you make a bandstand?

Take away the chairs.
1390628.  Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:32 am Reply with quote

Why did the cows go back to the marijuana field?

Because the pot called the cattle back.


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