| mckeonj
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| 914900. Thu Jun 07, 2012 8:35 am |
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Can anyone suggest a script that one could use responding to a 'cold call', paricularly if the caller is foreign and uses my name.
Something like:
"You have breached a secure facility, your location has been registered with drone control."
"Key in the required security code within the next twenty seconds."
<pause>
"Counting ten nine eight seven six ignition four three two one launch"
Maybe that's too crude.
How about:
"Hellooo handsome, would you like to know what I'm wearing?" |
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| Strawberry
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| 914903. Thu Jun 07, 2012 8:39 am |
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| Maybe you should tell the caller that you're an African prince. |
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| Moosh
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| 914909. Thu Jun 07, 2012 8:50 am |
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I know too many people who work in call centres to derive any pleasure from messing with people doing a shit job for minimum wage.
If they actually do something wrong, like lie to you, then that's different, but I've never had that since I generally put the phone down less than 3 seconds into the call. |
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| otyikondo
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| 914918. Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:01 am |
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I have lately found that an increasingly desperate and annoyed-sounding:
"Hello?"
"HELLO?"
"HELLO? Oh, damn it"
works quite effectively in conjunction with a swift mark-up on Caller ID as "Sales".
That way I don't even pick up the second time. |
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| mckeonj
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| 914931. Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:13 am |
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"Have you thought of letting Jesus into your life?"
Well. it works on JWs and Mormons. |
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| filofax
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| 914932. Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:14 am |
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I usually just say no thanks and hang up, but sometimes I feel so rude doing that that I get involved in ill advised conversations, just to be polite.
Once I had someone trying to sell me olive oil. I said, that she had called the wrong person, because being from Britain originally, I never use it. She was completely incredulous (well, in Italy, she would be)
'What, never?'
'no, absolutely never'
'what do you use?'
'butter - you know, in Britain we don't have olive trees, but we have lots of cows'
'but don't you ever have bruschetta with fresh olive oil?'
'definitely not. We have hot buttered toast' - I was getting a bit desperate by this point.
'what about cooking?'
'we fry everything in butter' - I was really struggling by now
'and for salad dressings?'
'MELTED BUTTER' and at that point I had to excuse myself and hang up.
So know there is some poor call centre girl who thinks that British people dress their salad with butter, and we wonder why British cuisine doesn't have a good rep.
Since then, I've got better at just hanging up. |
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| Posital
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| 914953. Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:50 am |
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I just ask "Is this a solicited call?" and if it takes more than 2s to answer - I'll just say "No thanks. Bye".
My other take is to ask for their website so I can make my own comparison. They don't like that only if it's a comission-based call. |
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| djgordy
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| 914955. Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:54 am |
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| You could always just say that you are not interested, ask them not to call back and put the phone down. |
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| Alfred E Neuman
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| 914956. Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:58 am |
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| Strawberry wrote: | | Maybe you should tell the caller that you're an African prince. |
But I am an African Prince... |
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| Neotenic
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| 914972. Thu Jun 07, 2012 10:29 am |
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| Quote: | | You could always just say that you are not interested, ask them not to call back and put the phone down. |
Personally, I just go with putting the phone down.
Any telesales company worth its salt will feed the callers with lines to counter common objections, so if you're going to be polite, you're going to have to sit and listen to them.
I don't go with being rude at them either, because the people are just trying to earn a living, and its a shitty way to do so at the best of times. So just hanging up means they can move on to the next with a minimum of fuss.
But, if you are feeling mischevious, then "United Nations Crisis Response Centre, which country are you calling from?" goes down a treat. |
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| 'yorz
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| 914979. Thu Jun 07, 2012 10:36 am |
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| <sigh> Again - what if all them nuisance calls you received are recorded ones? |
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| bemahan
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| 914999. Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:05 am |
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I just say no thank you in an impatient manner and ask them to remove our details from their database. Probably doesn't work but I feel it's worth a try.
My most rewarding cold calls are the ones when they lose their temper with me because they can't understand why I wouldn't want to save money. |
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| Spud McLaren
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| 915025. Thu Jun 07, 2012 12:27 pm |
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1. "Are you my daddy/mummy?"
2. "Now, you've been a very naughty boy/girl, haven't you?"
3. (my favourite) - "Hang on, there's someone at the door" - go to kitchen, put kettle on, make cup of tea, put feet up, drink tea, probably with a couple of biscuits to dunk, go back to phone - "Sorry about that. Where were we?" (if they're still on the line) - let them talk for a few seconds, then - "Just a moment, the baby's crying." - repeat refreshment performance. And so forth. I could do that all day, apart from the necessary toilet breaks.
Well, it's not my phone bill... |
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| mckeonj
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| 915030. Thu Jun 07, 2012 1:07 pm |
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| (3) works, especially of you have a speaker on the phone, so you can hear the increasingly desperate pleas, as you go about your business. |
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| cornixt
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| 915031. Thu Jun 07, 2012 1:10 pm |
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I often get a voicemail that begins halfway into a recorded message, followed by a call centre guy saying "Hello? Hello?". They always seem to call when I am own my way home from work.
I'm not rude to the call centre people, they are just drones in a horrible job. My wife worked for a company that called to check if they had received some free magazines that they had asked for and got huge amounts of abuse even though she wasn't selling anything or signing them up for anything. |
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