Is it just me is or is this utterly insane?

tetsabb · 906607. Fri May 04, 2012 6:15 am

Written in ink, one hopes....

Neotenic · 906615. Fri May 04, 2012 6:36 am

I wasn't going to mention masturbation on the toilet cubicle walls, but it just burst out.

bemahan · 906626. Fri May 04, 2012 6:48 am

Neotenic · 906663. Fri May 04, 2012 7:29 am

It's fine once you build up the calluses.

'yorz · 906678. Fri May 04, 2012 7:52 am

filofax · 906683. Fri May 04, 2012 8:19 am

Italians are extremely relaxed about nudity. Changing rooms and showers are always communal (in my experience), beaches are all topless and many are nudist, breastfeeding in public is positively BEAMED upon.. and this in the home of Catholicism. (Italians are also pretty open about sharing details of their bodily functions with you, which I'm not so keen on, but never mind).

Only once has anyone commented negatively on my breastfeeding in a restaurant, and that was by a frenchman, who asked me to go to the ladies to feed. I told him that I would be happy to serve my baby's dinner in the toilets if he was happy to eat his own there, and he went off quite subdued.
Otherwise, most people smile at you fondly.

I'm sure that my son will shortly be checking out porn, but at least in the meantime he know what real human bodies look like with no clothes on, so at least he won't think that Playboy is the norm.

PDR · 906689. Fri May 04, 2012 8:51 am

It's not the images in porn that are the problem - it's the activities and the behaviours. If you actually sample the videos that are freely available on non-paying porn sites you'll find that most of them show sexual relationships as coercive, abusive and one-sided. They show control and subjection rather than mutual enjoyment of intimacy.

I really think that the more libertarian-minded proponents could benefit from viewing the material to inform decisions about whether it would be a suitable introduction to the nature of future sexual relationships for (particularly) 12-14 year old boys.

If you don't know where to look then PM me and I'll suggest a couple (proof of age may be requested) - I don't think Jenny would appreciate it if I posted that sort of URL here!

PDR

'yorz · 906700. Fri May 04, 2012 9:06 am

It is my experience that you get what you ask for, to put it simply.

Oceans Edge · 906702. Fri May 04, 2012 9:10 am

there are a whole host of websites and magazines and stories and novels and movies out there... non of them are particularly representative of the real world

whether you're talking about sex or "A Boy's Life"

I think largely it's that they're not the "introduction to the nature of future sexual relationships for (particularly) 12-14 year old boys" (or girls) and I think part of the point of the discussion - is that they're not experiencing this in a vacuum. There's a whole host of other social influences at work here: home, school, friends, and I think largely that those influences will inevitably have a greater impact on the development of the child's social and sexual understanding.

I think the idea that viewing pictures of asian rope/bondage art is going to turn all our young men into weird DsM fetishist (and I know quite a few very nice normal Dsm Fetishists - no disrespect intended) is as silly as saying reading horror comics was going to turn us all into ax murders or playing DandD was going to make us all sword wielding goons with no grip on reality.

I feel quite confident in saying that YES those things DO happen - but in every case, it didn't happen BECAUSE of, but rather it was the trigger that exposed an underlying problem in those other far more influential social norms mentors.

Sadurian Mike · 906707. Fri May 04, 2012 9:20 am

Neotenic · 906710. Fri May 04, 2012 9:22 am

filofax · 906713. Fri May 04, 2012 9:31 am

I tend towards PDR's opinion here. Nothing wrong with nudity, nothing wrong with sex - but there's lots of stuff out there which is, quite frankly, disturbing, and young kids are not necessary equipped to deal with it yet.

I agree with Oceans Edge that a happy, balanced boy in a happy, balanced family will probably not be swayed into 'different' sexual practices only through viewing porn, but that isn't really the point.

Whatever a child is doing has to be age appropriate. There are books that I wouldn't be happy for him to read at this age, and there is porn I wouldn't want him to view right now. Children need sensible guidelines.

Edited to add: I hasten to add that I am NOT against porn, and I am NOT against filoboy checking it out. I would just want to be sure that it wasn't extreme.

'yorz · 906715. Fri May 04, 2012 9:37 am

Which brings us back to the OP. It's the parents' responsibility to provide these sensible guidelines, along with using the tools available to prevent inappropriate viewing. To leave all that to the government is nonsense, and indeed sets a very bad example for the child.

exnihilo · 906716. Fri May 04, 2012 9:38 am

One man's extreme is another man's normal.

I expect many of the people who would be okay, if not ecstatic, about their children viewing heterosexual pornography in their teens would be far less lackadaisical about them viewing homosexual pornography at the same age.

And that's before we get anywhere near ropes, fruit or kitchen appliances.

filofax · 906717. Fri May 04, 2012 9:45 am

Of course, but there must be some things which are beyond the pale for all parents....rape, violence, subjugation, degradation - any right thinking parent of a 12 year old is going to keep him away from that, regardless of whether or not they themselves practice any of the above.

All of the rest is, as you say, and individual choice dependent on personal morality, and no parent is going to teach a child anything which goes against their own principals. Therefore, if you object to homosexuality, the likelihood is that you will try to influence your kid against it. Not much anyone can do about that, is there?