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Oceans Edge
903355.  Sat Apr 21, 2012 2:02 pm Reply with quote

I tried to post this to Lists (where it seemed to belong a bit better - next to the Limericks thread) ... but that didn't work, so I suppose here will do :)

In these hallowed halls
Of wisdom and wit.
I've come to wonder,
And wonder a bit.

How is it these denizens
Of language and fun,
Don't have a tribute thread
To THE greatest one?

Oh sure he was American
But of that you can't blame,
He was young at the time
It didn't hinder his fame.

Theodore Geisel was the name
He was given by some
In time and with patience
Would Dr Seuss he'd become

A player of words
A man of sharp wit
"Celebrate him!" I say
And here, this is it.

OE - 04/12

Last edited by Oceans Edge on Sun Apr 22, 2012 6:11 am; edited 1 time in total

903399.  Sun Apr 22, 2012 2:15 am Reply with quote

A player of words
A man of sharp wit
In review mostly his books
are considered quite good.

Oceans Edge
915877.  Sun Jun 10, 2012 4:00 pm Reply with quote

Apropos of other debates...

915890.  Sun Jun 10, 2012 5:10 pm Reply with quote

Someone was once warned about the inadvisability of plagiarizing Seuss thusly:

"Could you,
Would you,
With a writ;
Would you,
Could you,
Sue the git?"


Bon Pantalon
917458.  Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:56 pm Reply with quote

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.”

920248.  Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:18 am Reply with quote


If a packet hits a pocket
on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted
as a very last resort,

and the access of the mem'ry
makes your floppy disk abort.
Then the socket packet pocket
has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item
followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon
puts your window in the trash;

and your data is corrupted
cuz the index doesn't hash,
then the situation's hopeless
and your system's gonna crash.

If the label on the cable
on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to
the button on your mouse,

but your packets want to
tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected
by the printer down the hall,

and your screen is all distorted
by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window
are as wavy as a souse;

then you may as well reboot the thing
and go out with a bang,
cuz as sure as I'm a poet,
that old sucker's gonna hang !

When the copy of your floppy's
getting sloppy in the disc
and the microcode instructions
cause unnecessary risk,

then you'll have to flash the memory
and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer
and be sure to tell your Mom!


The original supergeek verson by Gene Ziegler:

If a packet hits a bad pocket on a rocket socket port
The busy backend bus is broken as a last resort
The random wrangling of memory makes your dial-up abort
Then the rocket socket packet pocket has an error to report.

When your cursed cursor’s pointy pointer clicks a pixilated dash
The infamous infernal icon puts the window in the trash
{(IF (the $data) is = degraded (THEN #the $index)) will == not –hash}
{(FOR if the (system state) seems = $suspect) NEXT it will crash!}

If the label on the cable on the table at your house
says the network NIC card nearby is connected to the mouse
The display depicts distortion from the side effects of gauss
Then the only option left? Go get some gasoline to douse

If the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk
The fragmentation forces fracture like a fickle feeling frisk
The macro’s meanial mandate becomes an unnecessary risk
Then the floppy’s sloppy copy will be gloppy instead of brisk!

The digital digest of datagrams direct a different protocol
that is repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.
Instead the inappropriate pics you printed were emailed to the staff one and all!
Very likely a virile virus, a network nerd you need to call

Informed of your infection, beset by the baneful bomb
You curse the computer’s components and pound them with your palm
You'll be forced to flash the bios and required to rip your ROM
But you should be very thankful it was to the staff and not your Mom!

Oceans Edge
935067.  Sat Aug 25, 2012 1:18 pm Reply with quote

935096.  Sat Aug 25, 2012 3:30 pm Reply with quote

We definitely need a LIKE button!


Oceans Edge
936075.  Wed Aug 29, 2012 9:04 pm Reply with quote

1022329.  Sun Sep 15, 2013 12:52 pm Reply with quote

edstephenson wrote:

If a packet hits a pocket
on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted
as a very last resort,

and the access of the mem'ry
makes your floppy disk abort.
Then the socket packet pocket
has an error to report.

(truncated to save space)

The above version is NOT in fact the "One True Version" penned by Gene Ziegler. That honour can only be claimed by a few sources, but I have located two such sources, the first of which is here:

What this source lacks, of course, is the reply to the dumbed down version widely attributed to "Anonymous" and "Dr. Seuss" alike:

Hang the Information Highwayman!
Reprint or repost only with permission. © 1995 Gene Ziegler .

Commentary on widely circulated poem called
"If Dr. Seuss were a Technical Writer"

When a party writes a poem and he puts it on the net,
He writes for love not money, and he takes what he can get.
He writes to bring you pleasure, that's the nature of the game.
He writes for recognition and he's sure to sign his name.

I wrote the poem in question, but this will make you laugh,
the version circulating, is my work cut in half!
Someone didn't like it, I guess that's a cinch.
It passed around the internet, until it met the Grinch.

I've never met the miscreant who edited my work,
but when I close my eyes and try, I can see the jerk!
The eyes are tiny pixels, close together you will find,
they're only separated by his narrow little mind.

His fingernails are dirty as he types on sticky keys,
He lurks around the network and takes whatever he sees.
He edits, chops, appropriates, and strips away my name,
A scoundrel on the internet, a lowdown dirty shame.

I'd like to find this filcher, so I'll offer this reward.
I'll give away my Mac SE, throw in the power cord.
If you will help me track him down and hang his internets
This information highwayman deserves what'er he gets.

And if we fail to find him, I'll hit him with a curse.
His hard disk will start spinning counter-clockwise in reverse.
His screen will start to flicker, and his mouse will chase a hearse.
I'll teach that hacking larcenist to tamper with my verse!

If you want to see my uncut work, take heart, it's still alive
It's in NetGuide, page eighty-six, for March of ninty-five.

The original Dr. Seuss impersonator (accept no substitutes).

For the record, of course, BOTH the original uncut version, and it's sequel, can be located effortlessly by visiting

I just think that if you're going to repost somebody else's poetic work, you should do the whole thing.

1022363.  Sun Sep 15, 2013 2:59 pm Reply with quote

Welcome to the forums, CanadianSuperGeek :-)

1023129.  Wed Sep 18, 2013 11:18 pm Reply with quote

Thanks! :)


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