View previous topic | View next topic

Thread for Things In Not Very Good Taste (may be offensive)

Page 181 of 183
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 180, 181, 182, 183  Next

1378999.  Sat Apr 10, 2021 8:44 am Reply with quote

I think that's pretty foul actually. I'm with Wendy on this. He was a long way from perfect, but I think a comment like that can wait. It's not that the Queen or her offspring or grandchildren or indeed great grandchildren or other relatives will necessarily see any particular person's posts, but things go viral very readily.

If your dad/spouse/grandad/uncle etc died and you were sad and mourning him, whatever his faults, how would you feel about seeing that kind of thing spread all over the place?

1380452.  Thu Apr 29, 2021 4:56 am Reply with quote

What is brown, and crawls up your leg?

A homesick turd.

1380469.  Thu Apr 29, 2021 7:59 am Reply with quote

It was a nice touch to have the Land Rover at Prince Philip's funeral.
Is there any truth to the rumour that, when it comes, Prince Andrew's will feature a 15-year old escort?

1380478.  Thu Apr 29, 2021 9:47 am Reply with quote

Description of the after effects of overindulgence.

You know those really concerning shits? The ones that start off a bit like "hmm... okay" but then seem to grow in magnitude? Your sphincter is nearing the point where it has begun to feel too open. Almost... vulnerable?

But your gut is rearranging itself to accommodate the sheer magnitude of the effluent it has to pass. The sphincter is trying to tap out. It can't. Your blood pressure has begun to drop, leaving you light-headed. Some part of the ever-you mind is nudging at you saying "hey, we should get a tape measure!", while the rest of it is going "shutupshutupshutup".

Then there's this brief, hesitant pinching motion where the initial voluminous mass has passed. But you know you have mere seconds before the second, smaller but still vast, is going to take to the field. It isn't the same size - nothing like it - but your body is wearied. Your mind is fractured. Any noises emitting from your vocal cords are barely under control.

It lands like a depth charge. The fabled 'Neptune's Kiss' meets it in return as any water left above the surface from its predecessor now has nowhere to go but to splash upwards.

Your are swallowing deeply. Your lungs are struggling. The edges of your vision are opaque and blurred.

That's about half of that plate. At 3am you will rise from your bed, food-drunk and dense as a neutron star, and begin once more.

1381643.  Mon May 17, 2021 5:37 am Reply with quote

Just going to put this here, apparently a nice little eatery in the Ozarks

1381682.  Mon May 17, 2021 2:35 pm Reply with quote

Must be *really* big then!

1381770.  Tue May 18, 2021 12:56 pm Reply with quote

When people throw up on a boat, but not because of sea sickness...

1381918.  Fri May 21, 2021 5:37 am Reply with quote

Teacher Can anyone give me a sentence with 'contagious' in it?
Little Johnny, for it is he Boris Johnson should have reacted swiftly and decisively to the threat of Covid. But it took that contagious.

1385368.  Sat Jul 17, 2021 9:05 am Reply with quote

1385696.  Wed Jul 21, 2021 9:37 am Reply with quote

I feel I have to share this, but will white it out for those of a sensitive disposition. Minor self-inflicted injury

I trim my beard with clippers. I also trim my pubic hair with the same clippers. Today I did not have the guard on, and managed to nick a little bit of wrinkly skin
There was a surprisingly large amount of blood.

You may giggle.

1385712.  Wed Jul 21, 2021 12:11 pm Reply with quote

I doubt many of us chaps will be giggling.....

1385715.  Wed Jul 21, 2021 12:48 pm Reply with quote

Wincing yes... giggling not so much.

1385717.  Wed Jul 21, 2021 1:09 pm Reply with quote

Just a little nick, but it stung for a while.

1385726.  Wed Jul 21, 2021 2:38 pm Reply with quote

You sure you've not tickled someone too much?

1385761.  Thu Jul 22, 2021 5:05 am Reply with quote

Quite sure, thank you!


Page 181 of 183
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 180, 181, 182, 183  Next

All times are GMT - 5 Hours

Display posts from previous:   

Search Search Forums

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group