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Advert attack!

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Sadurian Mike
1002398.  Fri Jun 07, 2013 3:47 am Reply with quote

You chance to moan about adverts and point out those particularly stupid ones that really get your goat.

Inspired by Crissdee's post over on TV that Grabs Your Attention.

crissdee wrote:
swot wrote:
I've noticed a couple of baffling adverts recently:


Only a couple!!! It seems to me that every other advert is specifically designed to make me go WTF!!!!

How about the new moisturiser that works in the shower? So this stuff moisturises your skin while you're standing under a stream of water?!?!?!?!?! how does it manage that? does it make the water wetter?

Or the ad for the special personalised lager chalices, with a huge picture of such a chalice with the message "your name here" underneath the manufacturers logo. Except the small print says that the engraving will be on the reverse of the chalice........so not "here" at all in fact.

Or the stupid adverts for a new laptop which contain the following exchange;

"is it powered by steam?"

"No, its powered by Intel"

No its not, its powered by a f******g battery like all laptops!

Or any one of a trillion others, it would drive me to drink if I wasn't already there.

 
Sadurian Mike
1002399.  Fri Jun 07, 2013 3:49 am Reply with quote

There is a new one, for shampoo. It part of the tagline is that it contain new 'keratin polish'. May have been varnish, I forget.

'Keratin polish'? Isn't that the same as that silicone stuff they used to use but went out of fashion?

 
djgordy
1002402.  Fri Jun 07, 2013 3:56 am Reply with quote

Didn't we already have an adverts thread? It must have gone out of fashion.

 
Sadurian Mike
1002405.  Fri Jun 07, 2013 3:59 am Reply with quote

djgordy wrote:
Didn't we already have an adverts thread? It must have gone out of fashion.

This is obviously the Best Ever, New and Improved version. The other one was only the Ultimate version.

 
Arcane
1002416.  Fri Jun 07, 2013 4:19 am Reply with quote

Mascara ads. Any woman with half a brain or who has used false eyelashes knows that the effect on the models is FAAAAAAKE. Read the fine print; there is often something about "dramatisation" or some twaddle.

Same with moisturisers; they will not reverse the signs of ageing.

Those silly automatic soap dispensers that say they'll keep your hands germ free because normal soap dispensers are germy. Well derrrrrrr, you wash your hands AFTER you touch the dispenser! What a con!

 
swot
1002424.  Fri Jun 07, 2013 6:04 am Reply with quote

EVERYONE IS JUDGING YOUR TOILET!

AND THE SIZE OF YOUR ARSE!

AND YOUR BLACKHEADS!

WHY ARE YOU ALLOWED TO LIVE?

BUY MORE SHOES! BUY ALL THE SHOES!

I'm so glad mother taught me to have a healthy disdain for these ads or I'd be a wreck.

 
RLDavies
1002431.  Fri Jun 07, 2013 6:57 am Reply with quote

They're even weirder through Colin's eyes, since he doesn't get the benefit of hearing the voiceover (a lot of commercials never have subtitles).

"Why is being hit with water balloons supposed to make you buy razors?" was his question last night.

 
Efros
1002437.  Fri Jun 07, 2013 7:43 am Reply with quote

Sadurian Mike wrote:
There is a new one, for shampoo. It part of the tagline is that it contain new 'keratin polish'. May have been varnish, I forget.

'Keratin polish'? Isn't that the same as that silicone stuff they used to use but went out of fashion?


Sounds suspiciously so, the keratin is the protein that makes up the hair, it is ridged, this causes adhesion when the hair clumps together so the hair doesn't flow, filling in those ridges with gloop, silicone or somesuch, will reduce that adhesion and so the hairs will glide easily over it. I think they should call it lube and be done with it. This is all from memory of course, any hair I had that required keratin polish has been gone for some 20 years or so.

 
Sadurian Mike
1002693.  Sat Jun 08, 2013 12:59 pm Reply with quote

Where did this current advertiser obsession with making our houses smell like a whore's boudoir come from? I appreciate that air fresheners are sometimes needed, but not to the extent of 24-hour chemical warfare.

If I want my room to smell like 'spring-fresh air', I'll open the bloody window!

 
Efros
1002694.  Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:12 pm Reply with quote

I blame the candle people, scented fucking candles!

 
crissdee
1002695.  Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:26 pm Reply with quote

Should you ever find yourself in England Efros, I would strongly caution you to avoid the lower reaches of Crystal Palace. There you will find a shop that sells nothing, absolutely nothing, but white candles in assorted sizes. They call themselves something like "The Milk Bottle Candle Shop" although the candles visible inside (and there are dozens) are shaped like no milk bottle I have ever encountered.

 
Efros
1002696.  Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:39 pm Reply with quote

They're an obsession over this side of the pond. People will pay $20-30 for a smelly candle in a glass jar. Try googling Yankee Candle, they even have range called Man Candles... sheesh, and possibly oooerr! The only consolation is that by burning these things you increase the chance of burning your house down.

http://www.burnsurvivorsttw.org/candles.html

 
swot
1002709.  Sat Jun 08, 2013 3:37 pm Reply with quote

Ooh we have those here too. They're in every card and gift shop.

Am I being over-sensitive or is the chap in the Virgin Trains ad a little bit creepy?

 
Alfred E Neuman
1002717.  Sat Jun 08, 2013 3:58 pm Reply with quote

Sadurian Mike wrote:
Where did this current advertiser obsession with making our houses smell like a whore's boudoir come from? I appreciate that air fresheners are sometimes needed, but not to the extent of 24-hour chemical warfare.

If I want my room to smell like 'spring-fresh air', I'll open the bloody window!


Some of us don't even know what a whore's boudoir smells like...

 
tetsabb
1002722.  Sat Jun 08, 2013 4:29 pm Reply with quote

We avoid seeing most adverts by watching most tv recorded --- about the only thing I ever watch live is rugby international.
Being a hsift worker the concept of recording stuff to watch at a more convenient time is pretty-well second nature.

 

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