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The Most Fantastic Liar in the World

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812626.  Mon May 02, 2011 8:50 pm Reply with quote

Whom I met, actually, not too long ago in a rather peculiar incident involving a few gibbons and a leek, all mine, of course.

812643.  Tue May 03, 2011 1:43 am Reply with quote

which caused a chain of events that would eventually lead to the fall of the royal family if Swaziland.

dr bartolo
812732.  Tue May 03, 2011 7:01 am Reply with quote

That was not my only royal family I have overthrown- I managed to kill queen mary of scots unsig a single horsehair and five matches!

812752.  Tue May 03, 2011 8:02 am Reply with quote

with two of the matches already having been struck and the hair coming from a particularly frail horse.

812922.  Tue May 03, 2011 4:16 pm Reply with quote

But then there's a reason why my friends call me McGyver.

812950.  Tue May 03, 2011 5:09 pm Reply with quote

WHich is one of my few sources of enjoyment since the royal family robbed me of my masters degree. But since then I have become a world-recognised expert in military vehicle design and military tactics, whilst fending off the amorous advances of Condi Rice...


813256.  Wed May 04, 2011 9:51 am Reply with quote

and also Cameron Diaz, Catherine Zeta Jones, Kelly Brook, Jeniffer Lopez, Lady Gaga all 5 members of The Saturdays and Kylie and Dannii Minogue, and yes I know some of those are married and in relationships, but what can I say? I just bring it out in them, but anyway... I was fighting the great Troll of Matkamdoom, when suddenly...

813259.  Wed May 04, 2011 9:54 am Reply with quote


dr bartolo
813265.  Wed May 04, 2011 10:21 am Reply with quote

I killed him with the new and improved deck of playing cards I invented, for prior to me, decks of playing cards had only 3 suits, and lacked the numbers four to seven.....

813274.  Wed May 04, 2011 10:47 am Reply with quote

Of course, my improved deck was too improved for everyday use, so it was somewhat reduced for normal decks. My improved deck contained 954 suits, with the numbers 1-∞.

dr bartolo
813454.  Wed May 04, 2011 5:36 pm Reply with quote

and that was before I invented the tarot deck......

813457.  Wed May 04, 2011 5:42 pm Reply with quote

Which foretold my beating, in mortal combat, of Chuck Norris....

813494.  Wed May 04, 2011 9:36 pm Reply with quote

who, though coming back to life no less than seventy-seven times, was still killed by me while my hand was tied behind my leg, and each time in a completely dissimilar way.

dr bartolo
813536.  Thu May 05, 2011 4:55 am Reply with quote

he finally met his demise when I offered him a cup of tea that was soaking in a chemical soup for a week. I then sold the tea in boxes under the name of "earl grey tea"

813563.  Thu May 05, 2011 6:36 am Reply with quote

I actually once met the real Earl Grey, and showed him how to harvest bergamot from the moon. He had a fine lady, who was more than friendly to me on more than one occasion. Cor, what tits.


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