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Infidelity

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Spud McLaren
727679.  Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:06 pm Reply with quote

How to test whether your husband is playing away.

 
bemahan
727680.  Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:12 pm Reply with quote

Quote:
The Gull Agency also sells a gel which a women rubs into her partner's back before he goes to work.

If bemahub were/is having an affair, he'd probably return to the marital fold* if I started taking the time to rub gel into his back before he goes to work!

*that sounds unintentionally unpleasant.

 
Spud McLaren
727706.  Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:59 pm Reply with quote

bemahan wrote:
*that sounds unintentionally unpleasant.
Unpleasantly biological, maybe.

bemahan wrote:

If bemahub were/is having an affair, he'd probably return to the marital fold* if I started taking the time to rub gel into his back before he goes to work!
And maybe not, if it caused blisters...

 
tetsabb
727797.  Wed Jul 14, 2010 7:19 am Reply with quote

And if the gel were to be applied to the front....?

 
bemahan
727811.  Wed Jul 14, 2010 9:04 am Reply with quote

Shall I try it and report back?

 
mckeonj
727822.  Wed Jul 14, 2010 9:16 am Reply with quote

I understand that sperm fluoresces under ultraviolet light, such as the wee lamp used to detect forged banknotes.

 
bobwilson
727905.  Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:01 am Reply with quote

Fidelity is an unnatural state. It's in our biological nature to seek out many sexual partners (and to deceive one into providing for our children).

The alternative is too ludicrous to contemplate. Of 6 billion people on the planet you will come across the one true love of your life?

 
hassan el kebir
727915.  Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:54 am Reply with quote

You quaint old romantic, bob ;-)

 
tetsabb
727938.  Thu Jul 15, 2010 5:17 am Reply with quote

mckeonj wrote:
I understand that sperm fluoresces under ultraviolet light, such as the wee lamp used to detect forged banknotes.


On programmes like CSI or other forensic cop shows, they use an ultraviolet lamp to find errr, 'residue', shall we say, at scenes of sex crimes. Turn off the lights and shine the UV, and it shows up white.

What happens if a chap leaves 'residue' on a forged bank note?

 
masterfroggy
727941.  Thu Jul 15, 2010 6:02 am Reply with quote

tetsabb wrote:
mckeonj wrote:
I understand that sperm fluoresces under ultraviolet light, such as the wee lamp used to detect forged banknotes.


On programmes like CSI or other forensic cop shows, they use an ultraviolet lamp to find errr, 'residue', shall we say, at scenes of sex crimes. Turn off the lights and shine the UV, and it shows up white.

What happens if a chap leaves 'residue' on a forged bank note?


‘Coming in to money’ a classic motive for murder

 
RLDavies
727943.  Thu Jul 15, 2010 7:00 am Reply with quote

Urine and sweat also fluoresce, so using UV light to investigate underpants is hardly worth the bother on its own.

Most bodily fluids will fluoresce under UV, although semen does glow particularly brightly. In forensic work, UV is used to detect the presence of invisible stains so the overall pattern can be seen and samples taken. The mere presence of something fluorescent doesn't mean much.

 
djgordy
727949.  Thu Jul 15, 2010 7:55 am Reply with quote

RLDavies wrote:
Urine and sweat also fluoresce, so using UV light to investigate underpants is hardly worth the bother on its own.


"Albert, the police came round and said that they needed you to go to station to provide a urine, semen and stool sample. I just gave them a pair of your old underpants."

 
suze
727976.  Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:52 am Reply with quote

tetsabb wrote:
What happens if a chap leaves 'residue' on a forged bank note?


Why would he? I've seen some improbable things in my time, but never have I seen a man, erm, residualate, onto a bank note ...

 
bemahan
727980.  Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:58 am Reply with quote

suze wrote:
tetsabb wrote:
What happens if a chap leaves 'residue' on a forged bank note?


Why would he? I've seen some improbable things in my time, but never have I seen a man, erm, residualate, onto a bank note ...


Might happen if he's just 'been' with a 'working girl' and is paying her. Although I believe they require payment 'up front' (as it were) these days.

 
tetsabb
728004.  Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:24 pm Reply with quote

suze wrote:
tetsabb wrote:
What happens if a chap leaves 'residue' on a forged bank note?


Why would he? I've seen some improbable things in my time, but never have I seen a man, erm, residualate, onto a bank note ...


A forger who is extremely excited at how his latest attempt has come out?
:-)

Hmmm.... 'residualate' -- have we (OK, has suze) invented a new word?
"Darling, I'm about to residualate"
Points to whoever gets it into another thread, and points, as we all know, mean prizes![/i]

 

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