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Insults and put downs

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bemahan
721828.  Mon Jun 21, 2010 11:51 am Reply with quote

I know this is bringing the level down but I would dearly like to know the origin of an insult that I heard many years ago attributed to a very much older male generation in bemafamily. Used to describe making love (not the right phrase really in this context but I'm trying to avoid being crude) to a particular person:

"It was like breaking into a butcher's shop."

 
tetsabb
721868.  Mon Jun 21, 2010 2:53 pm Reply with quote

bemahan wrote:
bringing the level down

How unusual!
:-)

 
Spud McLaren
721935.  Mon Jun 21, 2010 8:19 pm Reply with quote

"She's the original good time that was had by all." - Bette Davis about Marilyn Monroe

 
zomgmouse
721952.  Tue Jun 22, 2010 1:12 am Reply with quote

"Historian: an unsuccessful novelist." - H.L. Mencken

 
zomgmouse
721954.  Tue Jun 22, 2010 1:18 am Reply with quote

"If you're normal, I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life." - a line from "My Pink Half of the Drainpipe" (Bonzo Dog Band, The Doughnut in Granny's Greenhouse), written by Viv Stanshall and Neil Innes (not sure who did this line).

 
tetsabb
721989.  Tue Jun 22, 2010 4:11 am Reply with quote

Trevor Bailey was a cricketer who was renowned for his ability to keep batting for long periods without scoring.
The great Neville Cardus, cricketing correspondent of the Grauniad had referred to the pace of one of his innings as 'monumental'. The following day he changed that to 'geological'.

And my Better Half once referred to someone as 'having all the charm of a cornered rat'.
Still used in this house.

 
bemahan
722044.  Tue Jun 22, 2010 8:03 am Reply with quote

My granny used to talk about people being "like a fart in a colander" if they were faffing about.

Another family one (adopted if not original) was to say about someone untrustworthy, "his eyes were scaling the sides of his nose". (After the myth that people whose eyes are too close together can't be trusted.)

 
hassan el kebir
722241.  Tue Jun 22, 2010 5:49 pm Reply with quote

I use 'fart in a colander' regularly usually to describe myself.

Viv Stanshall was good for put downs, one concert of his that I was at there was an idiot heckling him,Stanshall's response was to break off in the middle of the song he was singing and said with all his usual charm 'With a mouth like that you sir could perform mouth to mouth resuscitation upon a hippopotomus.' then continued singing where he had left off.

Far better than Lou Reed who when he had an audience member continually calling out for him to play 'Venus in Furs'responded with 'Why don't you go fuck yourself.' Some people just have no class.

And, was it not Dorothy Parker who had a budgie which she called Onan 'cos he kept on spilling his seed?

 
Efros
722243.  Tue Jun 22, 2010 6:14 pm Reply with quote

The similarity between onanist and oenophile has always struck me as appropriate.

 
Izzardesque
722427.  Wed Jun 23, 2010 8:38 am Reply with quote

Efros wrote:
One for all the mission statement quoting barnacle shaggers out there
Quote:
"Remember, there is no "I" in Team!"
"No, but there is a "U" in "cu*t!"




"No, but there are four in 'platitude quoting idiot'!"

 
swot
722446.  Wed Jun 23, 2010 9:41 am Reply with quote

From the 16-year-old trombone player to the 13-year-old principal cornet in my band: Do you realise you're 3 feet tall and you're never going to lose your virginity?

Genius.

 
Spud McLaren
722525.  Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:14 pm Reply with quote

hassan el kebir wrote:
Viv Stanshall was good for put downs, one concert of his that I was at there was an idiot heckling him,Stanshall's response was to break off in the middle of the song he was singing and said with all his usual charm 'With a mouth like that you sir could perform mouth to mouth resuscitation upon a hippopotomus.' then continued singing where he had left off.
Or one from, of all people, Des O'Connor when being heckled by a female drunk:
"Ah, you came to see my show ten years ago, didn't you, madam? I'm not very good at remembering faces, but I never forget a dress."


Last edited by Spud McLaren on Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

 
Spud McLaren
722528.  Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:17 pm Reply with quote

Heard from one of two charming young ladies on Matlock bridge, on being propositioned by a labourer in a builder's van:

"You? Huh! Yours'd not touch the sides of the 'ole in a Polo mint."

 
bemahan
722538.  Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:07 pm Reply with quote

tetsabb wrote:
bemahan wrote:
bringing the level down

How unusual!
:-)

Interesting that once the level is down, people are quite happy to keep it there ;)

 
zomgmouse
722694.  Thu Jun 24, 2010 6:07 am Reply with quote

I was reminded of this.

 

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