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Can't a man have a biscuit?

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monsieurgazerina
30022.  Mon Nov 07, 2005 6:36 pm Reply with quote

That anecdote was one my favourites on QI? Does anyone have the whole transcript of it?

Hi, i'm new by the way

 
Amie
30032.  Mon Nov 07, 2005 6:40 pm Reply with quote

Hi, make yourself at home! There's a free armchair by the fire...

 
JumpingJack
30033.  Mon Nov 07, 2005 6:41 pm Reply with quote

Bonsoir, Monsieur.

The man to ask about transcripts is Flash.

You can either wait to bump into him or private message him by clicking on his name when you see it.

 
Flash
30043.  Mon Nov 07, 2005 6:50 pm Reply with quote

Quote:
In the Second World War they would have people form the Ministry of Labour going round checking on everybody and particularly on the big estates, to see if all these people, some of them could be released for essential war work. And they went to Chatsworth, the Duke of Devonshire's estate it was, and they, you know, stop watch and clipboard and they checked everybody, and eventually they had an interview with the Duke, and they said; "Well Your Grace, we can understand that you need forty seven gardeners and thirteen under gardeners and you need grooms and you need chauffeurs and you need upstairs maids and downstairs maids and in between maids and laundry room maids, and still room maids and kitchen maids and nursemaids and housemaids and parlour maids. And we can understand that you need the boy to scrape the knives and boots and you need the butler and the four footmen and the under butler. But we wonder if a man economy might be made, do you, does Your Grace necessarily need two pastry cooks? To which he apparently replied; "Oh damn it! Can't a man have a biscuit?"

 
JumpingJack
30046.  Mon Nov 07, 2005 6:52 pm Reply with quote

Good man, Flash.

Some sort of sixth sense you're operating on, clearly.

 
monsieurgazerina
30051.  Mon Nov 07, 2005 7:02 pm Reply with quote

i'm going to enjoy it here

thanks flash, WOOF!

 
Flash
30053.  Mon Nov 07, 2005 7:03 pm Reply with quote

Quote:
STEPHEN
How many senses do you have?

BILL:
I sense a buzzer coming.

ALAN:
Five.

ALARM BELLS

STEPHEN:
No Alan!

ALAN:
Six, seven, eight, nine, four, three, two, one. Ten, eleven.

STEPHEN:
Nine, anything between nine and twenty one I’ll give you points for. Just think about what one means by, Aristotle said five.

ALAN:
Seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching.

STEPHEN:
Right. So what about balance, what about hunger, what about thirst? Why aren’t they senses? Feedback from your relationship with the world, pressure.

BILL:
Disappointment.

STEPHEN:
There are lots of, feeling heat. Where do you feel heat? You don’t touch heat. So there is “thermoception”, “nociception”, which is pain. “Equilibrioception”, which is balance.

ALAN:
So why do they teach me that there are five?

STEPHEN:
Well it was Aristotle who said it, he said there were four elements, but you know, earth, air, fire and water, but we don’t believe that now.

RORY:
I do.

ALAN:
I go along with that.

STEPHEN:
But there’s also “proprioception” which is if you close your eyes and move your hand about, you know where it is.

ALAN:
What about the sixth sense?

 
JumpingJack
30361.  Wed Nov 09, 2005 6:31 pm Reply with quote

Yes, I was talking about postiception – knowing what someone is just about to say.

Everyone has that, of course.

Well, you do if you're married.

 
Tas
30420.  Thu Nov 10, 2005 8:19 am Reply with quote

Quote:
Well, you do if you're married.


Blokes don't. No man alive knows what a woman is thinking!
(And we get told off for NOT knowing!)

:-)

 
JumpingJack
30725.  Fri Nov 11, 2005 10:58 pm Reply with quote

Very true, Tas. Oh so very, very true.

But that's not what I said.

I never have the faintest idea what Mrs Jumping is thinking but I often know exactly what she is going to say.

And she me, of course.

Everyone repeats themselves continually of course, but it's not generally noticed by other people unless one is married to one of them.

 

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