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The cat and the anus

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Albert Terry
645085.  Fri Dec 11, 2009 4:53 am Reply with quote

Stephen Fry: Alan, why can't you shove a cat up your anus?

Alan Davies: Because it's too big.

Stephen Fry: What is too big?

Alan Davies: The cat.

Stephen Fry: Ohhh! KLAXONS: CAT TOO BIG

Alan Davies: Okay. Because my anus is too small.

Stephen Fry: Ohhh! KLAXONS: ANUS TOO SMALL

Alan Davies: Because it's cruel to the cat!

Stephen Fry: Ohhh! KLAXONS: ANIMAL CRUELTY

Alan Davies: Because it's too dirty!

Stephen Fry: Ohhh! KLAXONS: TOO DIRTY

Alan Davies: I give up! What's the answer?

Stephen Fry: The answer is that you don't shove a cat up your anus. You shove a cat up your rectum. The anus is only the opening of the cavity; the part of the cavity behind the opening is not the anus but the rectum.

 
CB27
645147.  Fri Dec 11, 2009 8:18 am Reply with quote

What is this fascination with the parping outlet?

 
dr.bob
645197.  Fri Dec 11, 2009 11:00 am Reply with quote

Ask Freud.

 
MinervaMoon
645839.  Sun Dec 13, 2009 12:30 pm Reply with quote

And The Vagina Monologues should have more accurately been named The Vulva Monologues.

 
CB27
645899.  Sun Dec 13, 2009 3:25 pm Reply with quote

And the cat and the anus and the silver poop
Little hankie blue and the man on the moon
When you buying rolls dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get a freshener then son
You know we'll have a good smell then...

 
Xachiavelli
657582.  Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:40 am Reply with quote

I like this.

Also, Stephen should turn to Alan and say "look deep into my sphincter", then go on to explain that a sphincter is simply any round muscle, such as pupils, which he was asking Alan to look into

 
Ion Zone
657704.  Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:42 pm Reply with quote

Missed chance there!

 
Mr Dizzy
660950.  Sat Jan 23, 2010 10:31 am Reply with quote

By this definition, you don’t post letters in someone’s letterbox because the letterbox is merely the opening.

If you were to shove a cat in your rectum, you would still definitely be shoving the cat up through your anus. Whether the word “through” is excluded hardly seems significant.

 
djgordy
660963.  Sat Jan 23, 2010 11:19 am Reply with quote

So the Queen had a rectum horribilis in 1992 then?

 
Ion Zone
661122.  Sat Jan 23, 2010 5:49 pm Reply with quote

That would be pedantic, even for QI.

 
VaultAir
676041.  Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:25 am Reply with quote

So change it to through yer anus and it becomes alright then? How big a rectum do you need to get a cat up there? Unless you're talking like Alans tiny trouser tiger.

 
Sadurian Mike
686534.  Mon Mar 22, 2010 7:01 pm Reply with quote

If a corridor has a doorway at one end, you still go through the doorway to enter the corridor. You would still be said to be shoving someone through the doorway, even though they were only there momentarily before entering the corridor.

 

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