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Leith	799300.  Thu Mar 24, 2011 6:38 pm Based on Episode 10 of the G series and MatC's post 319075: The nameless dish The Galápagos islands are home to a beast That for years had no scientific name, On account of it making so tasty a feast That none made it far from whence they came. Ship-borne naturalists caught them and brought them on-board, But no scholarly goals could compete With insatiable appetites of the accord That the creature was scrumptious to eat. So the learned nomenclature stayed incomplete, Since there's no taxonomical group Could be rightly applied to its succulent meat, Nor its bones once they're turned into soup. Though its flesh lined the stomach of Darwin himself, Evolution had sealed its fate - Having formed of its body such culinary wealth, All enclosed in its own serving plate.
Leith	799316.  Thu Mar 24, 2011 7:02 pm Ah, a new page. Lest that cause anyone to miss AFB's fine contribution: AlmondFacialBar wrote: Recession Dining One fine day I met my friends And it was decided, That soon I'd have to give them food While more inclined to hide it. A dinner party was the thing, That my friends expected. My claim I had no money Was something they rejected. Thus I sat there thinking hard With a feeling of depression. How to feed a bunch of friends In the depth of a recession? Then I went to Tesco Barely able to afford a gnat. But finally inspiration hit: Instead of cooking catfood, why not cook the cat? Marmaduke was a tabby And I loved him quite a lot. But there's no time for sentiment Faced with an empty cooking pot. The first course was a consomee Made from finest kitty carcass. I also threw in garden herbs And bits of my neighbour's jackass. The second course was roof hare, Which is classic German cooking. They all thought it was real bunny Or else they'd have been puking. The third course, i.e. the dessert, Turned out to be a challenge. Cat is not naturally sweet, So maybe should I add some orange? Mousse au chat et a l'orange Turned out a fine solution, And my guests still talked for weeks to come About my culinary revolution. Some people say cats aren't nice. Some even say they're vicious. But Marmaduke was different: First cuddly, then delicious. :-) AlmondFacialBar
AlmondFacialBar	799336.  Fri Mar 25, 2011 2:38 am Leith wrote: Based on Episode 10 of the G series and MatC's post 319075: The nameless dish The Galápagos islands are home to a beast That for years had no scientific name, On account of it making so tasty a feast That none made it far from whence they came. Ship-borne naturalists caught them and brought them on-board, But no scholarly goals could compete With insatiable appetites of the accord That the creature was scrumptious to eat. So the learned nomenclature stayed incomplete, Since there's no taxonomical group Could be rightly applied to its succulent meat, Nor its bones once they're turned into soup. Though its flesh lined the stomach of Darwin himself, Evolution had sealed its fate - Having formed of its body such culinary wealth, All enclosed in its own serving plate. Rarely has the fate of the Giant Tortoise been described more poignantly. *sniff* :-) AlmondFacialBar
Leith	799609.  Sat Mar 26, 2011 6:53 am Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a filling for a toastie!
Jenny	799654.  Sat Mar 26, 2011 10:18 am Oh I like that one, Leith!
AlmondFacialBar	800505.  Mon Mar 28, 2011 3:39 pm Dog Dinner Suzy was my neighbour's dog; She looked like a terrier of sorts. She barked all day, she barked all night And made me shout rather loud and unpleasant retorts. One fine day she entered my garden While I was trying to mow the lawn, And immediately I seized my chance - It was time for some doggie food porn! First I had to get the fur off, To get some decent crackling. And soon the entire neighbourhood Echoed with my evil cackling. But what is evil anyway? She'd kept me awake for more than three years. Whatever about her actual owner, I knew no one else would shed any tears. The fur successfully removed, It was time for delicious glazing. Honey, mustard, a couple of herbs, And by then my barbecue fire was blazing. Then I quickly prepared a few spuds And stuffed them into the glowing coals. I finished the meal off with a salad And presented it all in nice, folksy bowls. When Suzy was done I invited the neighbours round, That is, everyone except her owner. And when they saw what was on the serving plate, Several males suffered a boner. I had arranged her attractively, surrounded with herbs and drizzled with glazing And everyone was so happy to be rid of her That County Wicklow rang with their praising. I took some lovely photographs, too, Just to make the whole thing more porny And nowadays, whenever I'm down I look at them, enjoy the silence, and the way my life's got less thorny. (Suzy is barking outside, btw... ;-)) :-) AlmondFacialBar
Ainee	824268.  Wed Jun 15, 2011 5:02 pm Applaws for the cat poem by AFB!
pola	874548.  Mon Jan 02, 2012 10:09 am We had a parrot called Fred and a monkey we called Bimbo There was no money in the house so for food it was just like bingo Whenever your number came up, you had a choice of meat Would it be Fred’s wings or breast, or little Bimbos feet. We had a one legged chicken and Hoppy, was her name She fed the bleeding lot of us as she lived up to her name One leg first made the stew, which fed us for a day When dad chopped off the other leg, she couldn’t run away Stew we lived on growing up but the ingredients are harder to find You’re not allowed to eat your pets; if you do you now get fined.

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