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Gags (Jokes)

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Ian Dunn
388333.  Thu Jul 31, 2008 11:38 am Reply with quote

Research carried out by the Universty of Wolverhampton for the Dave channel has revealed the 10 oldest known jokes. Here is the list:

1. Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap (1900 BC 1600 BC Sumerian Proverb Collection 1.12-1.13)

2. How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish (An abridged version first found in 1600 BC on the Westcar Papryus)

3. Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon's load. The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen. So they all went. In their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf which ate the wagon's load. Problem: Who owns the calf?! (1200 BC)

4. A woman who was blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20 years. When he found another woman he said to her, "I shall divorce you because you are said to be blind in one eye." And she answered him: "Have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage!?" (Egyptian circa 1100 BC)

5. Odysseus tells the Cyclops that his real name is nobody. When Odysseus instructs his men to attack the Cyclops, the Cyclops shouts: "Help, nobody is attacking me!" No one comes to help. (Homer. The Odyssey 800 BC)

6. Question: What animal walks on four feet in the morning, two at noon and three at evening? Answer: Man. He goes on all fours as a baby, on two feet as a man and uses a cane in old age (Appears in Oedipus Tyrannus and first performed in 429 BC)

7. Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey - his purse is what restrains him (Egyptian, Ptolemaic Period 304 BC 30 BC)

8. Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued he asked: "Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?" "No your Highness," he replied, "but my father was." (Credited to the Emporer Augustus 63 BC 29 AD)

9. Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said "I've had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died." (Dated to the Philogelos 4th /5th Century AD)

10. Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: "In silence." (Collected in the Philogelos or "Laughter-Lover" the oldest extant jest book and compiled in the 4th/5th Century AD)

 
nostradamus
498809.  Sat Feb 07, 2009 6:02 am Reply with quote

I like this 7. Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey - his purse is what restrains him (Egyptian, Ptolemaic Period 304 BC 30 BC) and this 9. Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said "I've had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died." (Dated to the Philogelos 4th /5th Century AD).



1. Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap (1900 BC 1600 BC Sumerian Proverb Collection 1.12-1.13)


Is there any explanation as to why/how this is a joke ?

 
Celebaelin
498908.  Sat Feb 07, 2009 8:32 am Reply with quote

Farts are funny. Come on, they are - I still laugh at fart gags even though I always look around to check if anybody noticed when I do; and I do that when I laugh at fart gags too.

 
Ion Zone
499252.  Sat Feb 07, 2009 4:04 pm Reply with quote

The last two made me laugh :}

 
nostradamus
500227.  Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:28 am Reply with quote

Celebaelin wrote:
Farts are funny. Come on, they are - I still laugh at fart gags even though I always look around to check if anybody noticed when I do; and I do that when I laugh at fart gags too.


just because it says fart in the 'joke' it doesn't mean it's a fart gag. I just don't see how it is funny.

 

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